So…let’s talk about Momma….again. Oh, she thinks she is perfect but as Grandmama would say…Momma could cramp a saint… take walk times. Sometimes, like she should (it’s in my Policy and Procedures for All Creation), Momma says. ‘Walk time, Jakita’….and she actually proceeds to the door, gets my leash around my neck and we are off.
I have to admits, sometimes I can be the hold up… if I was caught in a nap. I take my jolly old-time, shake my head, do the downward stretch, shake my head some more, stumble over to the food dish…a dog has to have energy to exercise.
Okay, okay, I admit, there is no fault to be assigned because I am an Ultimate Einstein Earth Dog (think Earth, Virgo, detail fixated even if a was born in the Age of Aquarius) that tells time better than GMT (Greenwich Mean Time). Set your world clock by me, you will not be off a nanosecond.
But mostly, it is, well, blame Momma. Take today. Momma set off, as she always does, somewhere around the ninth hour in the morning (after the school children are safely at school) to go to 1,2,3 stores… every day, 3 different stores. At this rate the money may not last as long as we will. The drug store was a must because it was 20% off day and somehow she had broken her hand-held mirror. Isn’t that seven years bad luck? The amount of mirrors Momma breaks, her time on earth will run out long before her bad luck.
Next, realizing tomorrow was for Thanksgiving Day dinner preparation, Momma had to buy her beloved one a day (like a vitamin pill) glazed donuts because Monday, the stores are shuttered to honor all sacrificed turkeys. Come Tuesday, the public will all be suffering a compulsive shopping disorder, pushing and shoving, emptying shelves… not a good scene. You got to be like Momma and plan ahead to make sure your donut addiction is satisfied.
The last store was just a couple of things, keep the cats soft food inventory stable, and turnips for the Thanksgiving dinner… they had to be bought at this particular store because, well the good soul who grew up in ‘the day’ worked in produce and would cheerfully quarter her turnips for her. Imagine asking a millennial … their expression, God Bless Them, would tell you, ‘Cut your own friggidy diggidy turnips’…..
All this being said, by the time Momma returned home, she was late for our usually scheduled walk… so, say you…did she drop everything and take you out the door? Well no, Momma also had laundry going on. First load had to be folded and put away (you can’t have bath towels wrinkling, I guess LOL), then the second load had to be transferred from the washer to the dryer.
Then, there was groceries to put away, (can’t have the glaze sliding off the donuts), a mirror to assigned a home, paper towels to be replaced, a charge card receipt to be filed…the list went on and on and on. So, surely we are ready Momma… Almost… You know that fake fern that sits outside all summer, seems it has to be brought inside, now, right now or Momma being Momma, might forget it outside all winter, where the howling Arctic winds, sleet, ice, snow would absolutely, reveal its secret…it is artificial…like some of those Two Footed with their enhanced bodies and to ‘dye’ for or transplanted hair…Got it Momma.
Patience is a virtue…Momma finally exhausted her list of tasks and me, (just watching her). She got down the leash and we were off on our walk, savoring the autumn sunshine, crackling leaves and flowers breathtakingly magnificent.
I forgive you this time Momma, but next time, I expect you to do better. Are you listening, Momma?
