Those Were the Days

Those were the days, said the Baby Boomers. When Men were Men and principals (and most parents) believed in Corporal (not Capital) Punishment.

And by the very power invested in them,  back in the 50’s and 60’s, the school principal had been assigned the duty to carry out corporal punishment by the school board, with the parents’ consent in order to make certain that the students who passed through their hands turned in to outstanding citizens, at some future date.  If that was their mandate, by God some of those law-abiding, go by the Good Book principals, would comply, come hell or high water.

Enter Mr. Spare-the-Rod-and-Spoil-the-Child. Momma said they all lived in fear of him, except for a First-Cousin-Twice-Removed. Cousin, who was maybe ten years old at the time, absolutely lived to torment that poor man.  The principal, after all, was only trying to fulfill what he had signed on for.

Now you could be sent to the principal’s office for a multitude of inconsequential actions as well as what side of the bed your teacher got up on. Your first office visit, Mr. Spare-the-Rod-and-Spoil-the Child counseled you, the second time, maybe a cuff in the ear to get you listening to him, but the third time through his door and if you were unfortunate enough to have been born a boy, you were guaranteed a lying on of the leather, a good strapping.

One day, Momma had the misfortune to ask for permission to use the facilities, when First-Cousin-Twice-Removed came running, no, thundering, down the hall, big grin on his face, yelling, ‘Catch me if you can’, Mr. Spare-the-Rod-and-Spoil-the-Child, in hot pursuit.

I swear, Cousin even slowed down so the principal could catch up with him. Mr. Spare-the-Rod-and-Spoil-the-Child, was a lot bigger and meaner than Cousin. He grabbed Cousin in his arms to take him to his office to finish his just reward.  In a flash, Cousin had grabbed both ends of the principals’ tie and was strangling the poor man.  As his face turned every colour in the rainbow, he tossed First-Cousin-Twice-Removed to the floor, sat on his chest, pummeling him with his fists.   Once he had gained control, he dragged Cousin up the long hallway, in to his office, slammed the door and probably beat the bejeebers out of Cousin, if the wailing we heard accounted for anything.

We never knew for sure because First-Cousin-Twice-Removed never was a “kiss and tell” sort and he in no way held it against  the man – just a case of, “You do your thing, and I’ll do mine”. Incidents such as these probably turn into a forgotten memory that make weaker folk end up on a shrinks’ couch. Well, at least, in today’s world, it is good for the economy.

Momma heard Mr. Spare-the-Rod-and-Spoil-the-Child meted out punishment to a son of a prominent citizen who felt they were doing a fine job of bringing up their kids, and did not need his help.  The end result was Mr. Spare-the-Rod-and-Spoil-the-Child was encouraged to leave and he did, although he came back about ten years later, less punitive  (maybe medicated??) but still largely feared since his snapping point was so unpredictable.

Yes, we had many principals, some wise, some well versed in child psychology and able to mentor us into what we have become today. One of them would make boys burn excess energy by running laps, rather than using straps. It was a self punish for unacceptable behavior.

Yet I tell you, First-Cousin-Twice-Removed turned out very well indeed and maybe some of it was because of the attention Mr. Spare-the-Rod-and-Spoil-the-Child gave him.  And I can’t say for sure, but Momma was told the prominent citizens’ son made a complete bullocks of his life, so maybe they too could have used Mr. Spare-the-Rod-and-Spoil-the-Child’s help.

I’m no shrink, I am just saying……..who knows for sure?