You want to think you know all there is to know about the other half… Knew him over 39 years…Married 38 years… Till he bought the farm… Went to his Happy Hunting Farm (not so bad a place to go… I’m thinking)… Ascended to Paradise to be surrounded with the love of his already dearly departed family, awaiting his inevitable arrival (our Comforting Christian Conclusion… well with our anything goes… we are One in the Spirit Church).
Let’s get serious… you know your Better Half… but do ya really ‘no’ your Better Half… Time for Truth and Reconciliation… Sometimes you’re on the same page… Sometimes you are in a different book… Yet come any emergency and you are 100% on the same team, pushing that huge, insurmountable, ice laden snowball… Up the hill… In tandem… You betcha… Depend on it… In this you crystal clear trust, know and depend on your Better Half. (Oh, and if you can’t…move on)
You know then (death’s probably not the time for self denial… Man-up, woman-up, they-up time)…. We all have secrets… We take to our grave…Maybe even I do… I already feel my school girl blush, my whole body suffused in the agony of sweat and shame…
Will those inevitable take to your grave or no one would see you the same secrets be revealed in Heaven to everyone… Or just to our Confessor(s) who has/have taken an Oath of Silence… At the threat of a browbeating by his/their Confessor… No lashes or hair shirts in my Heaven… Just higher learning to recognize the error of your Earthly Ways and Improve the Process…. That’s my theory… And I’m a gonna run with it… But you can run anyway you want because:
Death gives us Freedom, Freedom…
TheFreedom… We’re all looking for: (Paraphrase Kyrre Gorvell-Dahll / Lawrie Martin / Sandro Cavassa / Zak Abe)l
You are just dropped in to a dream, willy nilly, Act I: Scene 1, with cameras rolling.
I found myself in my childhood primary, middle and high school…all one building… in the day….at least for country folks….
I was standing in the hall, first floor, books in my arms, wearing a plaid skirt and ban-lon twin sweater set, carrying school books. I noticed the walls, the lockers, everything was painted a light grey green and my heart went out to the Janitor…I saw lots of scuff marks in his future. The floors were highly polished, like ready for a new school year….but everything was eerily quiet, rather than the buzz of whisper, muffled laughter, movement of students…I was standing by the Gym door so could see through the glass door Entrance the teachers used that showed the street lights were on through the glass….it was night. What was I doing, at school, at night…by myself?
I turned my gaze to look across the hall. There I saw one of my older sisters, the Queen, in a slim navy skirt, long sleeved white blouse…looked like a uniform, talking to a dark brown haired male, who had his back to me. It seemed like a general what-ya-doing-next-weekend conversation.They were both what I would call student age, also books in arms…like they fit the scenario.
When I turned my head, I saw my other three other sisters …they were no longer in their youth, definitely past student age, maybe their 30’s, all in colorful dresses…but their discussion felt like it was about me…I shoulda, coulda, woulda, the kind of talk sisters engage in that have no answers and no solutions…and they were all older than me…and they were all correct, I shoulda, coulda, woulda but I didn’t… so I was not interested in joining in the parsing…My Itty Bitty RIP Baby Sister would understand…She always had my back.
I turned back to my sister, the Queen, who was with the male student, called her name and they both turned…I then realized…it was my brother. Just as I took a step towards them, they transformed, before my eyes into air bubbles, and dissipated in to the hallowed halls…huh???
Okay, I’ll go talk to my other three sister, tell what I just experienced. Once again, 1st step forward, they turned to look at me, then also transformed, before my eyes into air bubbles, and dissipated in to the hallowed halls.
Icould hear, but not see, sneakers slapping the hallway floors, (nor could I see the person wearing them), pounding past me, as if his life depended on it. I called out to him, the Unknown, ‘Did you see where my family went?’ He replied… ‘Right past you, in the Gym.’
I had apparently reached the TwilightZone…I could no longer believe what my eyes revealed. Not convinced that I missed five family members, I never the less took the advice of the Unknown and went in to the gym…but it was empty…no one, nothing, nowhere, anywhere. I slowly turned round and round in circles…had I missed something… and there was a short fat Christmas tree covered in multi colored strings of lights, twinkling, casting rainbows on the garland, ropes and Christmas balls.
Could my family be teasing me, hiding under the tree…I mean, I am no engineer or magician, but how could 5 people hide under, in, through that tree?
Gamely I got on all fours and looked but saw no feet … instead I spied what looked be a three foot Clown Roly Poly weaving round and round as it made its way to the front of the tree. I instinctively put my hand under to haul out the Roly Poly for a better look and in a flash I was grabbed firmly with what seemed to be short flappy wings, hauling me under the tree, out of site… Gone.Baby.Gone.
And for the first time since her passing, I heard my Itty Bitty RIP Baby Sister’s voice…very firm…in charge…the boss…(like I had been to her), ‘Come on, Quite Contrary, we got to go,’ …’What…what about all of the rest of our siblings?’. In the same voice my Itty Bitty RIP Baby Sister replied… ‘It’s not their time yet.’ Over and Out. Buh Bye, World… Buh Bye. The End.
I’m awake. Inevitable questions pop into my mind:
Where was RIP Daddy and my Mother-and-Father-God-Rest-Their-Souls….Were they giving the my Itty Bitty RIP Baby Sister Baby-of-the-Family bragging rights…first big catch since death-did-us-part?
Why our school setting…maybe because it is where we went to laugh, seek fairness, learn and gain understanding about the world around us.
Why Christmas? You have to understand…. my Itty Bitty RIP Baby Sister loved all things Christmas. The love, family, friends, food, joy ….the mystery of what was wrapped so prettily under the tree, all to be revealed in good time. Did the whole idea ofa Christmas tree introduce the light I would ascend to …. that it would be no more frightening than a glowing Christmas tree, with gifts aboundinglike the amusing childlike Roly Poly….but hey folks, end of day…it’s just a dream…..
So sit back and enjoy the ride. And Rule #1: You come when called… Now you see them…Now you don’t…. Over and Out. …And I was outta there.
So I saw Momma, when she thought I wasn’t watching…windexing RIP Daddy’s humongous photo glass and frame…and she was grumbling at him…that he never comes around anymore…never whispers in her ear… like what’s with that….when did he get to step out of her dreams, whether she is awake or asleep? Who makes the rules, sets the timelines….tell us who?
Now Momma realizes when RIP Daddy first passed, he was worried that she would not be able to handle the mundane. What Momma knew about furnaces, contractors, cars or house hold repairs could have been written on the inside of a thimble…a very small thimble…how to get her up to speed with him inHeaven and her still firmly tethered toEarth was a conundrum.
Momma supposes that once you get to Heaven you have so much time to separate from those you left behind before you get appointed your full-time Help the World Become A Better Place Position. After all, there was more than Momma needed assistance….wasn’t she from the generation of ‘Bring Home the Bacon, Fry It Up in A Pan?’ No pain, no gain.Up and at it.No time for shrinking violets.
RIP Daddy did keep a close eye at first, bursting through with his knowledge and advice but then, over the years and tears, he noticed…..Momma had got the hang of it….somehow. It took a lot of Prayers (and Googling) but she made steady, if questionable progress and so the time arrived for RIP Daddy to Let Go and Let God.
After all, RIP Daddy had a mission that only he could complete, said his personal Guardian Angels….which would never occur unless RIP Daddy accepted his present location….recognized his Heavenly Assignment as he waited for Momma to complete her Journey and join him, In the Sky Lord, In the Sky.
Another reason for RIP Daddy to cut the cord was Itty Bitty… she always wanted to be first…to beat her older brother and sisters… and no one can argue…she won that round fair and square ….even though she was born to be the Baby of the Family and filled that position beyond expectations.
For so long Momma had visited Itty Bitty everyday, hopping on the bed with her – talking – laughing…now that Itty Bitty had taken her flight to her Greater Reward, it was important that even though she was still confused by the abruptness of it all, she must drop by…often…in Momma’s dreams…in thoughts…all day, all night …because, like RIP Daddy, although their passing was inevitable,it still came like a thief in the night…without time to assimilate…contemplate….and tell me how many dead people can a sane person, (even Momma), entertain on the same day?
Now I, Jakita know…the cats, especially Charlie knows….RIP Daddy actually drops by often but poor Momma hasn’t been blessed with the same awareness…The Two Footed only believe what they see…Sucks to be them…the Four Footed can feel your presence as it permeates our existence….so we implore you RIP Daddy, come on down, make your presence known, give Momma what she wants. Get with the program. Multi-task. Make her believe:
A long time ago…when the earth was green and there were more kinda’ animals than you’ve ever seen…Momma told me a story…part fact, part fiction and maybe, just maybe, part fibbing.
It seems when Momma and her Sister-Who-Taught-Her-Most-the-Things-She-Knows were playing in the forest one day, they met up with an old man, wearing an indescribable plaid shirt, flood pants held in place with ratty old suspenders, a bulging gunny sack slung over his back.He did not look left or right but trudged forward, a stoop in his back from the weight he was hoisting.
Now Momma and her Sister-Who-Taught-Her-Most-the-Things-She-Knows recognized everyone in Seven Counties so they raced home to ask their Mama (who we’ll refer to as Grandmama) whoever could it be. Grandmama explained it was The Hermitwho lived way back on the Third Concession, who only came out once a year in the summer to get supplies like sugar, flower, tea and coffee…other than that The Hermitlived off the land, fished from the streams, hunted for meat…like wow…people actually still did that?
Just their luck, their Papa (who we’ll refer to as Grandpapa) walked in as Grandmama was telling Momma and her Sister-Who-Taught-Her-Most-the-Things-She-Knows the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth….that is when the Secret was revealed…time those girls learned so they could pass it on to their kids and so on and so on… till death do us part.
Grandpapa explained, yes, you saw The Hermit….but…he is also The-Man-Behind-the-Moon. It is his job to take a pitchfork, a mega-long, long pitch forkand put the moon up in the sky every night and take it down every morning…and The-Man-Behind-the-Moonwas eternal, not like Dracula drinking helpless victim’s blood, but being kept alive all these years by moon beams (not moonshine, moonbeams). No death and resurrection for The-Man-Behind-the-Moon…He was, He Is and Ever Will Be!
Momma and her Sister-Who-Taught-Her-Most-the-Things-She-Knows looked at each other, then Grandmama, then Grandpapa. By now you know, Country Folk are Believers…they Believe in God Almighty,Sweet Baby Jesus,Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Wee Fairies and Gnomes in their garden… and in no particular order. Yeah, Country Folk Believe in everything….well, accept Donald Trump. Only Right Wing RepublicansBelieve in Trump… sometimes, most of the times.
Many a season has come and gone. Momma and her Sister-Who-Taught-Her-Most-the-Things-She-Knows have had children that had children and they still have not heard of the death of The Hermit, AKA (also known as) The-Man-Behind-the-Moon and in small towns, well, they have match box coffins and funerals for even the country mice…..give them a proper send off…which leads them to Believe (there’s that word again), Grandpapa was maybe on to something…
Not like Grandmama would give him up…she was no Conspiracy Theoristbut she sure had theBest.Everstraight face of a World-Class Poker Player.
Check ignition and may God’s love be with you..(Dave Bowie)
Momma has us all gathered around because she has a story to tell us….not really a story…no, a dreamshe had, she says. ‘Now, Jakita, you dream lots, did you ever dream about going to Heaven?’ asks Momma.
To begin with, correct me if I am wrong (not very often), aren’t dreams inside your head, the content invisible to all except the dreamer? I am confused. How does Momma know if I dreamdreams about chasing butterflies and romping with kitties? Then there are those nightmares where big, mean slobbering dogs are chasing me, growling ferociously, their tongue hanging out, just about to pounce on top of me, when I mercifully wake up. Well, you know finger-on-the-pulse-Momma. Apparently she can see inside my head and watch the dream unspool in my head. But dreams about Heaven? Not so much, Momma. I am a grounded Pedigree Havanese Aquarius, not a frivolous make-it-up-as-you-go-along mutt of questionable origins, you know.
Ignoring any offense intended, Momma tells her dream of both science and wonder that had happened years ago, before RIP Daddy died. It had been a long day. Momma fell into a deep sleep but was awoken by a translucent globe of blue at the foot of her bed. Unafraid, she quickly sat up to better survey the ball of light which, like the earth’s path around the sun, was both moving forward and rotating towards her.
In the twinkling of a *, Momma claimed she was sucked inside, instructed to spread her hands and feet, in a V formation, to touch the furthest points possible of the translucent globe. It appeared to Momma that her body had become a bright white light, semi-transparent but clearly recognizable. The globe continued its journey moving forward and rotating, along a darkened path toan unknown destination. Momma said she was more curious than traumatized, not even questioning, just enjoying the Tom Sawyer-like adventure.
All of a sudden, it was like a space shuttle re-entry to the Earth plane, as the globematerialized in to an aircraft, that pierced through the darkness to a land of dazzling white buildings, walls, and inlaid marble stone. Even all the inhabitants wore white togas. Wait a second. Somehow a white toga had materialized on Momma…and there was Grandmama and Grandpapa to greet her. They were so thrilled to see her. Still they made it clear, Momma had not yet earned her way to Heaven yet. Her life plan was not completed – there were things to do, places to go, all to be revealed in God’s good time. So sorry but here is a Return-to-Sender Label, oh, and leave your toga for other In-bounds. Heaven is very Green – the 3R’s (Reduce, Reuse, Recycle) rule Supreme, don’t you know! See ya later Alligator…in a while Crocodile….
Just like that, no further explanation, Momma was awake in the dark, in her bed. There was no globe ride home, no pretty lights. Momma says had been allowed a peek so she could look forward to the treasures in store for the future.
Now, I am not saying Ibelieve or that you have to believe, but you know our Momma, she swears by, it so that is good enough for me.
Miss. Misfit. Molly. McMatchet. The Miss was a label. You hadn’t quite made the grade.It told the world, (her world), that she hadn’t been able to snag a man. Who needed one? Miss Misfit Molly had a roof over her head, food for her belly, the ScryersClub, oh and her truck. What else does a body need?
Truth was many young farmers came calling ‘in the day,’ but Miss Misfit Molly, had thegift. She saw right though those suitors. They wanted the McMatchet Farm, not her. Anyway, what husband in those days, would put up with a wife going off on afull moon and creeping back when thesun rose?
Everyone knew Miss Misfit Molly in Momma’s little town. They heard her boxy old 1940’s something classic black Ford pick up truck coming, long before she arrived…and if a chicken crossed the road, at the exact moment, she would engage her ship-like horn that could be heard in seven counties, so the story went. Now, not too many women were driving in the 1960’s and certainly, if they were, they had a car, not an old pick up truck with a sumptuous cab,classic truck bedand white wall tires.
Ah, but those country folk, they smirked when they saw her coming. They kidded her unmercifully about her mechanical skills. What woman could change the oil,put on tires,fix the engine of a pick up truck? Miss Misfit Molly could….and she would do yours as well, if you could stop laughing long enough to ask her.
Miss Misfit Molly’s passion was the ScryersClub which she had managed to wangle a front row seat, as a child, many years ago. Having a Teflon Brain,she would race home after every meeting and record minute detail of the images on the mirror pool,of who said what,the plans going forward and the results to date.
Then it started happening to her. Miss Misfit Molly started having visions,seeing things, not only in the mirror pool but in a teacup….a suitcase meant, you were going on a trip, a star, you would be honored before your peers,a heart, you would receive a marriage proposal,a black crow,very ominous, get your affairs in order, your days on earth were numbered.
Now the housewives liked to dilly dally in this nonsense, get their tea leaves read but sshh, they did not tell their husbandswho would tell them it was all stuff and nonsense. No, they kept it a closely guarded secret, never even telling their mothers or sisters or friends, for fear of being laughed at. Yet Miss Misfit Molly knew and although she never told in life, had legions of ledgers, filled to the brim with the names of clientsfrom the very families who founded this town.However, in death, when her black crow came calling, she was set free and could divulge all.
Oh, to be in that place, at that time as the ledgers opened and the secrets poured out. Kind of put life in perspective….What the world needs is more of the like of Miss Misfit Molly. Yep, those ledgers, like Facebook today, gave more information then we ‘needed to know.’
Still, the shoe was on the other foot. The smirking faces went stone cold serious,because like Momma always tells us, ‘The truth can set you free or bury you,’ as it hovers over you, revealed only in God‘s good time.
You know, I love thinking there are Angelsand Fairies that make our world a better place…oh and sometimes, I may be naughty because of those little red devilswith pointy ears,long tails and pitch forks that lead me astray, a bit. Now there are no devils in Momma’s front garden (well, that I have actually seen) but one time we had a swarm of insects, straight out of the book of Exodus. However, AngelsandFairies…we have themin plain sight, or hiding under flowers,even peeking out from behind the rocksthat bleedrivers of silver,in the sunlight.
I know what you are thinking. Those AngelsandFairies… are man-made not heaven divined. You would be correct, of course. That is why, I was so stoked the day Momma told me that one night at midnight,we would watch the Circle of the AngelsandFairies Dance,sitting right on our front step because 1) it was summer, 2) the moon was full and 3) the AngelsandFairies had auditioned,practisedand were ready to give a performance of a life time…..if only you… ‘Believe.’ I believe Momma…Yeah, I’m a Believer (not so much Belieber …but he’s okay).
Round about midnight, when the moonwas high in the sky, the Believer Team consisting of Bad Boy Andy,Diva Calico Gen, myself (Jakita) and Momma walked out to the front step to get a first row seat. Out of the shadows came Call of the WildClemto join us, not really sure why we were there, but willing to give it a try.
So we waited, and waited, then waited some more. The cats were ready to leave, I was bored and Momma kept cajoling us to just have patience. We waited some more…I am so ashamed to tell you but like the disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane, I found myself drifting off to Never NeverLand.
Wait, what’s up? Momma is saying, ‘Look, Jakita, Kitties, do you see them?’ I strained to make out anything in the inky darkness but wow, what was that? An unseen orchestra played a lilting, whirling, twirling melody…..and like a Aurora Borealis light show, I am blinded by a circle of little tiny AngelsandFairies, on pointed toes in adorned ballet slippers, their diaphanous wings and tutus, the subtle hues of the miniature roses and impatiens from pale shades ofyellow, pink, purple to vibrant reds and dazzling whites. I could not blink nor breath, for fear the spectacular scene would disappear as quickly as it had materialized.
I sensed, rather than saw the Cool Cats, as captivated as I was, none of us moving a muscle, caught in space and time as we stared in wonder and bewilderment. Through the fog of mystery and reality, I heard Momma calling my name and in that instance, the bright lights receded,the music faded away, leaving only the beams of faint illumination from the full moon.
‘Momma, Momma, what happened? Did you see that? When can we do this again?’ We were so disappointed when Momma said it is a once in a lifetime occurrence to have been blessed with a vision of the Circle of the AngelandFairy Dance…but scientists would scoff at us, tell us it was just a thousand fireflies, lighting up the night. Best we keep this citing a secret…but we know, truth is definitely overrated because……
If only youBelieve, on aMoonlight Night,theAngelsandFairieswill reveal themselves, If only youBelieve…