Sir Clem to You & You & You

So I was the latest challenge for Momma to tame and seduce with food, water and a safe haven to hide out from all the threats that roamed the neighbor hood.

Now, no flies on Momma, she noticed paw marks all over her car and wondered, since she knew her Indoor / Outdoor Cats were hibernating, and wouldn’t venture out till the temperature rose like the sun in the morning.  Still, I had shelter but no food. No birds or the mice were hanging about. Like the squirrels, they were Gone, Baby, Gone.  And like the Farmer In the Dell, I was the Cheese, left alone. Hi-O-The-Derrio-The-Cheese-Was-Left-Alone.

It seemed like every morning this past winter, Momma would be outside, shoveling snow, singing to me, ‘Oh my darling, Clementine.’ ‘That would be Clem, Momma, Clem will do just fine. Or call me Clem-Ka-Diddle-Hopper because I boot it out of the garage, like a bolt of lightning, before the roaring thunder. Are you feeling me,  Momma?’

One morning Momma came back from wherever she goes.  I plunked myself on the roof of her car, just to get her attention, like, I am starving out here, my eyes said…..and then hightailed it out, hiding behind the side of the garage.  I could not have played a better hand. Momma  read my mind or body language or whatever, went in and returned with a dish of cat food, yummy food, fit for the Kitty Club Med Members.

At that point I still did not trust Momma (she had that Two Footed thing going on) so I  sidled  over to the bowl, grabbed some vittles, then ran to safety, hiding under her car to eat it. I followed this pattern, all the while, eyeballing Momma’s reaction, which pretty much, she ignored me. Once I had established she was no threat and did not even try to come near me, I relaxed and got on with standing at  the bowl and inhaling the food.

I tell you Momma was easy to train. Soon I had my own food dish in the garage and sometimes Cat Seven and Cat 24601 (dragging his chains behind him,  like in Les Miz) came up from the Colony and I let them eat when I had left overs but really, mostly it was for me. Momma and I were engaged in the dance of the seven veils. I didn’t run and hide when I saw her or the Black and White Andy, when he emerged. He is an In and Out, now you see him, now you don’t, who still eyes me warily and will chastise me for the smallest infraction (like when I got too close, he swatted him).

Momma  (being Momma) read on-line the reason I am so strong-willed and inflexible.  Apparently it is because I am blessed or maybe cursed with, being a Tortoise Shell Cat. I suffer  apparently, with Tortitude which makes me independent, a bit hot-tempered, moody, vocal when required, (not really – I hate vocal cats) oh, and the boss of their surroundings, that is a given…and smart, did I tell you that?

Email: housekeeping@hotdogcoolcats.com