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omething I have been meaning to bring up…I am so glad I was born a cat. We have it made in the shade, especially, if you have a Momma in your life. She can be tough, not even raise her voice, just point the way to the door, out of here, when I do something I shouldn’t, like chasing and terrorizing Gen or our Stray Grey Clem (What ever made Momma think I would welcome another MALE cat in to my domain?) .
Then there is that other ‘whoops’, when I spray on the wall to show ownership, and mark my territory. Since Momma has to go around behind me, cleaning, on her hands and knees, trust me, I am giving myself a short rope. I look in her eyes, see her disappointment in me, race to the door and literally eject myself, so she doesn’t do it for me.
Still, it is a good life. Clem’s a bit paranoid, a wild card, so it is easy to rile him, but son of a gun, that Jakita, who I have sniff air kissed every day since she came on board, has a system. She gives a piercing one bark only, to warn Clem I am just around the corner, destroying the surprise attacks, I so meticulously work on. I couldn’t believe it but one day when I was skulking around, I saw both Sister Gen and Jakita give Clem the sniff air kiss.
At least Charlie doesn’t welcome the Stray Grey with open arms. No, Charlie just lumbers off when she sees Clem approach, unless she has to take sides. It happened again last week.
On this particular day, I was not even being mean. I saw Clem sitting at the top of the stairs so I stopped to sniff, just sniff, his tail. Well, Clem is always in attack mode with other cats. He turned around so fast, using his massive right thumping paw to flip me on my back. His sharp claw, like a razor blade, hovered at my neck. As I looked into his blank stare, it was as if a trained Ninja warrior held my fate in his hand.
Absolutely appalled at his reaction, Jakita, along with Charlie and Gen, came running, forming a barrier around me. Meantime even Clem appeared shocked at his reaction. He jumped back on the food shelf and sat down, not snarling or growling, but crying, like a sad,little kitty as if to lament, ‘So sorry. Sometimes I just lose it. Please don’t hold it against me.’ It was pitiful!
So you know by now, I am no ‘forgive and forget kitty,’ more a tit-for-tat and learn-your-lesson type. Fair is fair. I was delighted to see the loyalty that I inspired in my sibling Gen, my step sibling Charlie, Jakita, the Author of The Policies and Procedures of All Creation, but I had been humiliated and I am not like Sweet-Baby-Jesus, as far as turning the other cheek, you understand.
Next day, bold as brass and let-bygones-be-bygones, Clem came marching in when Momma held the door open. He ate, I waited. He slept under the table, on a dining room table chair, I waited. I needed a good clear space to do my damage. Feeling confident, Clem went to his favorite perch on the back of the arm-chair in the sun porch. That meant this eleven year old Brainiac (not Muscle) Cat could jump him fair and square, in the open so all the household could see his humility, except Momma who would be busy doing this or that. In any case, she would not approve of or condone my Guerrilla Warfare attack.
So what happened? The All knowing, all hearing (remember the butterflies flapping their wings in Africa) Jakita, barked once. No response from Momma but Clem got it, very quickly. He dived behind the chair, ears flat on his head, claws clinging to the yellow/gold/white afghan and arm-chair fabric, giving Momma enough time to hear the commotion and get an EXIT plan going.
I sauntered over to the door, proud that I let him know who was boss and that once again my mates rushed in but….
Hey, wait, are they protecting me from Clem or Clem from me? No worries, I got my eyes on that situation but I am thinking, it’s all good now.
