Ruby, Will You Be Mine?

When we, the Inanimate  yet clearly Animate,  are left to our own devices, totally deserted by the very team that depend on us to deliver love and comfort, we often have our own little parties, sharing tales of days and life times long since.

Case and Point. While I am telling a riveting tale, Gen is wound like a calico ball of yarn, her head pressed against me, sound asleep.
Case and Point. While I am telling a riveting tale, Gen is wound like a calico ball of yarn, her head pressed against me, sound asleep.

That does not happen very often because it seems that Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte (aka Charlie) and / or Diva Calico Gen spend the whole day sleeping on Momma’s bed, curled close to one, the other, or all of us.  When they tell stories, we listen with interest but when we tell stories, like Jesus’ disciple, waiting for sunrise, in the Garden of Gethsamane they can not keep their eyes open.

Now even the  inanimate  need a club to join (or  a union, if we were getting paid) to protect our rights and promote our longevity.  In order to be legitimate with Canada Revenue, we needed a club name.  I voted for The Ruby Club but apparently all members had one vote so that name was rejected.  How about The Monkey Club?No again. Let’s call it The Get Stuffed Club. No, apparently it had to resonate even with Miss Piggy. Let’s see, we were a monkey, (Ruby), a puppy (Babby), a tiger (Tigger), a pig (Miss Piggy), the most recent member, a moose (Moosie) and

Dark Brown Darby Bear and Wonderboy's Lightbulb, always carrying his posie of flowers.
Dark Brown Darby Bear and Wonderboy’s Lightbulb, always carrying his posie of flowers.

sometimes two Teddy Bears, (Darby and Lightbulb). Picky, Picky, Picky! That’s it. We would call it the Tall Tales Club. You’d be right.  It took me, the Incredibly Wide Eyes (Wise) Monkey Ruby, to come up with that moniker.

Now, as only fitting, we all had a role, but of course being wise and wide-eyed, it was only fitting that I chaired the The Tall Tales Club. Miss Piggy can always entertain, so we all enjoyed the mayhem that she had lived through over the years, especially when little Zanny was still with us.  Zanny would take Miss Piggy outside on occasion and leave her there, expecting the Mothership to rescue her.  It did not always happen that way because, well, the Mothership was Momma, who was working ten to twelve hours a day, helping the Two Footed who could not help themselves, so sometimes it took Momma days to realize Miss Piggy was missing. One time Miss Piggy says she was there for days, well at least hours and a family of squirrels came out, encircled her, jabbering away, in squirrelese.  Then they sat on their haunches, little paws clasped together and screeched for back up.  A couple of more families came and then, out came Mr. Head Hauncho Squirrel. 

You can see I am pink, no fur but not exactly a squirrel, especially with those finger nail polished hooves and bright yellow ears (what's that all about?).
You can see I am pink, no fur but not exactly a squirrel, especially with those finger nail polished hooves and bright yellow ears (what’s that all about?).

‘What is this?’ they asked.  ‘It is pink, with no fur, like a baby squirrel but it is too fat to be one of ours.  Do we take this poor critter home or leave it to its own devices?’ 

‘No,’ said Mr. Head Hauncho Squirrel, ‘It is like Little Bo-Peep’s Sheep – leave it alone, it’ll get home, wagging its’ tail behind it.’ Then they all darted back to finding acorns to bury for the winter or what ever else squirrels do, leaving poor Miss Piggy all alone and desolate.

Well, Miss Piggy admitted, it may not have really happened just like that.  Momma spied with her little eye, a flash of pink in the back yard and fashioned a rescue….she asked poor RIP Daddy to bring in Miss Piggy next time he was in the back yard.  No rush apparently.  Miss Piggy would have sworn that she was a priority, but the good news was, it rained for three days so all of Zanny’s slobber got washed away. It is self deprecating stories like this that endear all the Tall Tale Club Members to Miss Piggy.

Here is the Tall Tales Club - back row, left, Tigger, then me, Ruby, on right, Babby; fronnt row to left Miss Piggy and in middle Moosie. The Teddy Bears were busy that Day.
Here is the Tall Tales Club – back row, left, Tigger, then me, Ruby, on right, Babby; front row to left Miss Piggy and in middle Moosie. The Teddy Bears were on a picnic without us, that Day.

Still, all the members of the Tall Tales Club have a tail to bring and a tale to tell.  There is so much more to tell. Every one of them, like me, have been there, done that, you got to trust me on that one.