As you know by now, I am the Diva Calico Gen. I have a great appreciation for all that glitter and glow. That is why Jakita kindly let me tell this story. It is the truth, nothing but the truth so help me Hannah.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, (oh, you heard that one already?), Momma had very smart niece, named Lovie, with a mouth that flowed, like a river, to the vast oceans, taking everything in its path. Lovie knew it was her cross to bear. That is why to this date Momma says, ‘As Lovie would say, I have got to learn to keep my BIG, FAT mouth shut.’ Don’t we all?
So listen up as I show you point and case. RIP Daddy’s sister was visiting with her son, at the same time as Lovie. The son in question was a virtual Jack in the Box (before kids were prescribed mood stabilizers), jumping on and off the couch, flapping his arms, crowing, throwing cushions on the floor – just creating general mayhem. Lovie was maybe four years old. She looked at Momma’s sister-in-law and said, ‘If I had a kid like that I would not take him anywhere.’ She told it as she saw it. Yet still she was a bit of a manipulator, she never missed a chance to strategize ways for her own will to be done.
When Lovie was 3 years old, she wanted pierced ears.
All her French cousins and girl friends had pretty little earrings but English Protestants were told that if God wanted holes in ears to stuff glittery earrings in, they would have been born that way. Lovie’s Papa was French Catholic, she was baptized at his church. She deserved pierced earrings as much as the next little French Catholic girl did, even if she was only half and half.
Well, you know parents – they have places to go, things to do. They largely ignored her pleadings. That is why Lovie lamented daily to her grandparents, her Momma’s Mother and Father, who thought that anything Lovie wanted was what she should receive, no questions asked. One day, after lots of Lovie’s complaining and cajoling to see if her grandparents would bite, Momma’s father came up with a sure-fire plan.
‘Just wait a second Lovie, I will go get the hammer, you go get those pierced earrings of yours that you got last Christmas…. I’ll tell Grandmama to hold you down, because I know you are going to be hollering and carrying on something fierce, then I will hammer those suckers in your ears. Done and done’ Now Lovie knew when she was being teased so she left in a huff (the Lovie-Boom-Booms) and said not another word to her grandparents about pierced ears but she indignantly told her mother about Grandpapa’s plan.
After hearing Grandpapa’s creative solution to the dilemma, it was somehow decided to set up an appointment at the one and only jewelry store in town, so as to ensure
Lovie’s nightmares of being chased by a hammer wheeling Grandpapa would cease. A plan was made and executed to get Lovie’s ears pierced by those who actually knew how to pierce ears (without a hammer).
That is how, Lovie told us, she got those shiny, golden hoops, that wink and shine in the sun, in her ears, like all of the pretty little French girls. Ah, yes, Lovie may seem to live a charmed life but she had her battles, along with the glory. It is a long story but there was a lot of laughter along the way.
Now, I am just a feral cat, from humble beginnings (even if I am the Diva Calico Gen). You know, (big sigh), I would love to have teeny tiny pierced earrings to go with my pink petal eyelashes and peak toe kitten sling-back-heels. How can we achieve this? Lovie would find a way. Any suggestions, good and faithful readers?
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