Party Line for Party Time

Got a quick question for you.  Is Momma aging herself when she admits to  remembering a life with out a phone in her home?  Even when Momma’s youngest sister, Itty Bitty, was born, the local grocer was the only person with a phone (businesses got them first) so he delivered the news that it was a baby girl. There was something else peculiar back then.  Fathers did not go near the delivery room or even wait at the hospital for the birth to take place. They had things to do, places to be, that safely separated them from the blood and pain that accompanies the birth of a baby. Today, Fathers are the Team Quarterback, throwing the ball, calling the plays.  Wow! So, so evolved…lol.

In Grandpapa’s case, he had to plant the potatoes that day. He had no time for waiting around at the hospital. If the Farmer’s Almanac said you plant today to get a bumper crop, you had better believe today it would be, notwithstanding birth, death or any form of destruction. Babies being born – that was women’s work. But all of this is another story.

In Momma’s part of the country, the phone was a miracle. How the heck, they wondered out loud, did a telephone line transmit a voice from anywhere in the world?  Whatever the Reality of that Mystery, everyone lined up to get one as soon as they became available. At that point, you could only get the infamous party lines which were a good lesson in patience and forbearance.  Each person on the party line had their own ring – one ring for the First Family, two short for the Next Family’s, one long, one short for Momma’s family.

Probably if you are from the country, you recall what happened.  First off there were the hearing impaired senior saints who picked up their phone no matter what the ring.  They would say, ‘Hello, Hello, Who is it? What do you want?’  Meanwhile the two people having the conversation would have to say, ‘Hang up, Auntie North, it is not for you,’  several times before she would actually hear and comply.

Then there those who had nothing much to do. They would stealthily pick up the receiver, for the purpose of listening in, whether it was from boredom, or if they thought they could collect some juicy gossip to pass around.  Through a process of elimination, and sharing of similar experiences, it was soon discovered which neighbor(s) was (were) guilty.

There also were families who would engage the line, day in and day out, calling as many people as they could, as long as their was no long distance charges.  You could pick up your phone ten times and all you heard was the two parties breathing, (they often were not even talking to each other), just tying up the line.  Of course, if it was an emergency, you just had to tell them to hang up, you needed to actually make a call.

The country finally caught up to the city and everyone got their own private lines but until that came to pass,  the challenge was to meet neighbors with a poker face. The Party Lines taught more about human nature than you would learn from earning your Masters in Psychology from any prestigious University.

Today’s obsession is cell phones, always on stand by, so that the public can talk anywhere, anytime. After giving it some thought, I, Jakita think it is downright rude to force others to listen to your dreary conversations that could be conducted in a private setting, later (‘Huh! Did she say not now?’, ask the Entitlement League of Nations).  No one wants to hear it, when in line at the bank, or checkout at groceries and definitely not when at church or trying to have a quiet dinner in a nice restaurant.  It can wait, honestly, try it, you’ll like it!

Maybe Cell Phone Providers should consider ‘party line’ cell phones to punish obsessive compulsive behavior.  Any violation (Read: Over Use in public places) of the rules and the guilty would  have to earn their rights to obtain a private connection, in cloud computing cyberspace operations. All we need is a Lobbyist to run the campaign and a petition.  Where do I sign?

It is just a thought….