So I try, I try to be an Angel Doggie but for reasons I can not quite fathom, I am just a bit mouthy, expressing myself mournfully or forcefully (sometimes) with attitude and a look that could drill a hole through pressure heated hardened steel or cut through Kevlar…. You choose…
Now it may be in my DNA, it may be that I was born an Aquarius, it may be I need Anger Management Training but, like Lady Ga-Ga, I was Born-This-Way….If you would let me ponder…. I believe it is because I am overly sensitive, notice every minute detail and think I am in charge of correcting it…oh, and I may be OCD…do doggies get that, ya think?
And Momma (being Momma), taps right in to my sanctimonious, put-everyone-in-their-place-and-you-better-stay-there moods. It is a challenge to not to disappoint Momma….again. She doesn’t chastise me but it is that look in her eyes… besides she feeds me!
So, oops, I did it again…because…I can’t mind my own business (that asks far too much of me)….and it is not my fault the Good God Almighty gave me ears that hear those butterfly wings flap in Africa.
One day (true story) as I am having a peaceful nap, falling into a REM state where dreams become sharp and clear, and you become part of the action, floating through yellow buttercups, the wind ruffling your furry ears and I hear Diva Calico Gen spring and land on the table in the kitchen.
First off, it is no fair a cat can so deftly jump from a floor to a table, in a standing position, no less and I can’t…I resent that…but mostly importantly, I have heard Momma admonish the cats time and time again for doing so.. Yet when I go rushing in to the kitchen in attack mode, snarling and barking, and Diva Calico Gen jumps off the table and takes off, so…of course it is my job, Man, to pursue her, jump on her back, chew her ears,
The problem is Momma doesn’t like the barking, the meowing, the chase around the house like wild stallions thundering across fields and dells and who gets the blame? Me. I roll my eyes, I look accusingly at Diva Calico Gen and go thump down on the cool hardwood floor with a lengthy sigh. Like: Yakety yak Yakety Yak. Don’t talk back…
Now, you know already, Momma like to live in PEACE so she will always seek me out later and explain she knew Diva Calico Gen had plotted that scenario, right down to knowing I attack the Cat, Momma attacks me. That Diva Calico Gen covers her mouth with her paw to conceal her mirth at my folly, every time… like Tom & Jerry and Tweety Bird, just scorches my very soul.
I mean even Bad Boy Andy doesn’t do that…actually he should be called…Good Boy Andy. He just wants to groom me or sleep beside me. Hush Hush Sweet Charlie, well, upon occasion, she will hop on the Coffee table but I stand up and cuff her with my fluffy paw, she runs a bit, waits for me to catch up…. No tattling with Hush Hush Sweet Charlie …. she believes in that ‘Don’t ask, Don’t tell’ philosophy of higher thinkers, thank you.
One day I am going to surprise even Momma. I will ignore Diva Calico Gen. If you don’t play, you can’t lose…I am assuming….
