Every one knows by now my Momma is an organized control freak Virgo…Still there could be worse things in a dog’s life, I am guessing, especially for a dog with IMHA (Immune Mediated Haemolytic Anemia). There are countless, routine blood counts taken, to make sure I am still in remission because I am not anxious to go back on steroids and cyclosporine or get blood transfusions, even if it means seeing all those high faluting Yummy Mummies with their exquisite blue blood designer dogs from Chokeville Oakville.
Hey, I am the Ultimate Earth Dog, The Super * with a Pedigree, that unquestionably surpasses all takers and so much smarter, better looking …and so humble.
So today I was to go to my in-town (city) vet for a check up and blood test. Momma is always so impressed that somehow, some way, I always can pick out the exact glass door to approach, in a field of glass doors. That is the blessing and the curse of having a velcro brain with exact recall. I don’t mind entering…I’ll even get weighed but please no temperature readings, no blood tests and definitely any diagnosis that may lead to surgery is verboten…got it???
As I suspected would happen, the Vet Assistant did all kind of rude things to me. Then enters Dr. Pony-Tail-Vet. Don’t get me wrong. He is gentle, kind but you almost wonder…is there a Sales Target put in place by a Chief Financial Officer, given out to Vets to push, that can only be achieved by using scare tactics on doting, naïve I-Would- Do-Anything-For-You pet owners?
Let’s face it. Momma is the original Quite Contrary so when Dr. Pony-Tail-Vet said, I needed surgery on both knees, usually $3000.00 but for you just $2000.00, Momma gulped and said she would have to think about that…
I mean, in today’s world, there is so much information to be gleaned from so many Search Engines that it was a pretty safe bet, I would not have to endure the indignity of surgery as long as there are Naturopath Vets. And…if I do have a knee problem, it explains why like white men, I can’t jump…but I am not so crippled that I have trouble going up and down stairs. I am not at a point when I am limping, feeling too stiff to walk (well, sometimes – fleetingly) nor do I whimper or whine in response to pain so…. hold the phones before you get out those scalpels, Dr. Pony-Tail-Vet. One thing I know is Momma doesn’t like hands in her pockets so to speak… and she has my furry little back…
When I am at the Vets, I read the signs, for sure, no kidding. When it is blood test time, I head to the glass door to escape. The Vet Assistant chases behind me and I bolt over to Momma, my eyes screaming, ‘Save Me.’ Now another staff member joins in the chase, trying to drag me to the lab, while I do the two hundred pound glued to the floor routine. In desperation the Vet Assistant stoops down, picks me up and it is off to the lab.
Like an Angel, I stop fighting, so that the procedure will be over as quickly as possible. I am lifted down to the floor and I totally race to Momma, like a puppy, so anxious to be gone, home where my love lies waiting, silently for me…
The staff tell Momma I was as good as gold…of course I was…I have my pride and I am the Ultimate Earth Dog, The Super * with a Pedigree, don’t you know….
This is fantastic blog….A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.
Response:
F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. : – D