Let Me Tell You About the Bees and the Bees

….And the flowers and the fleas and the Moon up  above and a thing called…

Spring has sprung…it is actually at the tipping point of summer.  The dead brown grass magically pushed its way out of the earth and turned a lush Irish green. Flowers  appeared, perfectly formed, like a paint by number canvass set strategically created by an artist of nature, with a vision.  Buds, like little fists, opened on branches of the trees, once again dressing the limbs in glorious green and red leaves that shade the heat of summer.  It is what we wait for through the trials of snow, ice, and those dreadful Arctic vortexes.

And yet, it also brings, well, you know, the undesirables.  I am talking about bees, big as humming birds, noisy as jet fighters, on a mission.  I know, they are part of God’s plan. I know they pollinate our food crops, produce sweet honey that is consumed, added to baking, used in healing processes.  Still, I am not feeling them.

Now, if those bees want to flit from cherry blossom to cherry blossom,

no problem.  I am on the down low, they are high in the tree, doing whatever they do.  Or if they are in our flower garden, buzzing and pollinating, I will stay out of their way. I mean…it’s their thing…do what they got to do.  But don’t go crowding my front door, trying to enter the minute an unsuspecting Momma holds it open for the Kitty Club Med members to leisurely saunter in. Momma is not as fast as she used to be and as fast as she is, she can not match your top speed of  15 miles an hour.

Just today it happened.  Who knows how you entered…you are like a stealth jet when you invade our air space.  However, as soon as you see a light, you are drawn to it and dive bomb it, going around and around it, at dizzying speed, emitting that high-pitched buzz…and that annoys me.  Even more infuriating, Diva Calico Gen Cat goes leaping in the air, trying to catch you, but p–l–e–a–s–e, she is thirteen now so  she lands back on the floor with a thud, winds herself up and tries all over again.

I start whining and warbling, ‘Momma, do something.’  I know Momma always has a plan.  She grabs a bar stool and a squeeze bottle and starts squirting water at the bee…mostly she misses and there is water on the ceiling, the walls, the kitchen floor, the stove, the dishwasher, the microwave.  I take off for the living room.  I was already groomed once today.  I am not looking to be blow dried again today, even if I get more treats for my outstanding behaviour.

Finally, Momma connected, stunning the bumble bee which fell to the floor still buzzing and complaining.  Momma covered him with a glass, slid a piece a paper under and released the unwanted trouble making, peace disturbing, jet propelled wonder of nature, outside.

Bees will be Bees.  Just no breaching security put in place to keep you out…Not-In-My-Neighborhood. Read my Policies and Procedures for All Creation and get with the program.  So, are you with me or are you going to be a problem?