From Morguefile.com
IMG_0240.JPGBy preetnan
It was a relentless month …it snowed and snowed, then it snowed some more, then just when you thought we had enough, well, it snowed again… Kept Momma hopping, even with a contractor that cleans out the driveway and shovels the walkways…
But then there are those noisy-good-for-nothing sidewalk ploughs, driven by the idiots (so says Momma, who can be harsh and judgmental) whose one passion in life is to cut up your front gardens, chewing and spewing bits of our brick hedges like a hackman on speed and if that is not enough, after your gateway has been ploughed….they are back…(like a poltergeist) heaving heavy slabs of ice in absolute mountains, blocking any chance of exiting with a car… until spring comes or Momma gets out her shovel.
One day, like a cowboy, Momma decided to take a chance, ride the wave, scale the mountain. It did not go well….because well, how do I put this delicately…she is a woman driver.
I mean, I, the Ultimate Earth Dog could probably have done it…but Momma…not so much…even with a fairly new car (well 2 years old but hardly driven) and top of the line winter snow tires. Momma got stuck… she could not go ahead, she could not go back, her goose was cooked and it was 7:00am…like who in their right mind is up and about at that ungodly time of day to help her?
Oh, but God is Good and Momma has no shame. She’ll ask, she’ll beg for help…that is the positive thing about being a female…we can suck it up, shake it off and never feel any the worse for it.
And so Momma went to our neighbour next door. He is a sweet♥ says Momma…but alas a sleeping sweet♥…he either didn’t hear or didn’t answer because maybe he did not feel like pushing another car this blankity-blank month.
Just then, across the street, in that house where Momma is not really sure what goes on… We just know important looking men usher middle class folks in to sign on the dotted line for high interest loans that banks refuse to give them because they are new to the country or single parents or high credit risks. Also ensconced in what is listed as a residential home so their taxes stay low (hey, the city was told but they would rather fight with the residents than turn away any business, legit or fishy), is an apartment that a very young, beautiful couple live. The Little Lady leaves the house at 7:00am everyday, hi ho, hi ho…it’s off to work she goes…she is as regimented as Momma, it seems. But Momma has talked to the Young Gent, who is what every Mother dreams her son will be….polite, friendly, helpful…the list goes on and on and on.
Like quick silver, Momma rushed over, explained her predicament and the Little Lady was very understanding (considering the number of times she had talked to Momma – Zero…but they had waved at each other, friendly like). In no time, the Young Gent was out and being a construction worker, cautioned Momma that it would take some revving.
Like, having grown up with, around Cousin Buddy, Momma understood heavy-duty revving….Cousin Buddy revved motorcycles, snowmobiles, cars or anything with an engine, till it saw it his way and cooperated.
In no time the Young Gent with the many piercings and severe tattoos, strategically placed, had the car unstuck, told Momma, anytime…and was off…We are hoping that Momma learned her lesson but being a cousin to Buddy, we make no promises.
And that Virginia, is what makes winter… fun…. well…sort of!
