‘So, Momma tell us about Christmas again’, said Jakita and Gen as they crowded her in the lazy boy chair, Jakita cuddled by Momma’s side, Gen perched beside her, paws tucked below her body, Egyptian style.  Who knows where Bad Boy Andy was…probably wreaking havoc in the neighbourhood.  Meanwhile Charlie was lurking behind one of the kitty hotels, listening attentively, convinced no one could see, although she wished she was brave enough to join them.

‘Well, long ago, Joseph and Mary’, started Momma, but they stopped her, rather impatiently.  ‘No, no, no tell us about the Baby Jesus,’ Jakita and Gen implored, ‘We love babies. Everybody loves babies.’

So Momma sighed and started again, only this time she took another tack. ‘Yes, Baby Jesus was born in a stable and laid in a manger.

An Angel of the Lord appeared to the Shepherds, who were tending their sheep that night, telling them the great tidings of Jesus birth and so they hurried off to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph with Baby Jesus as well as cattle, in the stable. Meanwhile, a mysterious light that turned in to a resplendent star shone, guiding the Three Wise men (hard to find three of those today), bearing gifts, came to see the long-awaited Messiah.’  But there is more because, well, Momma has lived forever, so she hears things.

Apparently, in Momma’s day, it was a well-known fact that on Christmas Eve Midnight, if the conditions were perfect, the snow gleaming from the moon and stars radiating beams of kaleidoscope light, if you went in to your barn, all the cattle would bow down and speak to each other about what was and is and ever shall be…..And everyone wanted to go to the barn at midnight at Christmas Eve but there was one catch (isn’t there always?).  Every person who had been brave enough to walk that path had never lived to tell the tale.

It was rumored that a Great Uncle of Momma’s, who did not believe in stuff and nonsense, well, no one knows what happened to him, there no witnesses (except the cattle and they pleaded the Fifth Amendment), but he was found in the barn  the next morning, as the cattle looked on sorrowfully, his eyes and mouth wide open, with a wound to his head, like he had tripped and hit his head on the way to meeting his Maker, God-Rest-His-Soul.

And one more person Momma heard of tried it, one of the Secret Society of Scryers and she nearly made it.  She was already outside of the barn, on her way home, anxious to share what she had seen and heard but she was found in a heap, in a snow bank, frozen stiff,  as the moon and the stars twinkled relentlessly, almost tauntingly, the secrets of the ages, still safe.

Wow, Momma, you sure have heard some fantastic tales.  Makes us wonder if they are true but it does not matter, because you know there is more than one truth out there and truth, well it is highly over rated.  Pondering the unknown formulates growth.  But I tell you what, Gen and I are not going to any barn on Christmas Eve at midnight because we are not the scientific type, okay?

Still, we adore Baby Jesus.

Dear Family and Friends;

Season’s Greeting from our Family who have enjoyed continued progress on a bumpy road, in the year that has just passed.

Hubby’s gardening business struggles on, but you know him. He is fairly threatening  so makes a strong Collection Officer as he goes about taking the last $20.00 from some Customers, for cutting their lawns. Although a bag of food for $20.00 doesn’t buy much these days, still, they owe him and it is pay up time. He left his sweat on their lawns and flowerbeds and darned if he is going to be stuck with ‘bad debt’.

Our one and only son (Wonder Boy) sometimes helps Hubby with the gardening when he has not been out partying the night before, but then he always insists they stop to eat at noon which pretty much cancels any profit made that day.  Go figure.  This eating regularly is seriously over rated and absolutely not cost-effective.

You remember Hubby’s health is not what it should be with his heart condition and diabetes. Thank goodness we live close to the hospital.  He is always conscientious about not spending money on an ambulance.

In blinding pain, he staggers over to Emergency, weaving his way through the traffic of cars and the blaring horns of buses that seem to think for some reason, that they have the right of way.  What would make them think that?  Maybe we should get him a STOP sign to carry and he could wear one of those hats with a revolving red light so the traffic can come to a halt accordingly.

The good news is that we finally got the Crack House next door closed down but we can’t take all the credit. It took the effort of all the neighbors on the street.  We could not take the disoriented Crack Heads standing on our front doorsteps, knocking plaintively, all hours of the day and night.  It was quite the circus to watch (and we all got in free).  The good news was the whole neighborhood poured in to the street to watch the live entertainment (just like the TV series – Cops) when the fleet of police cars surrounded the area.  We caught up on each others lives as we surveyed the constables, the undercover officers, possibly the RCMP and some one said CSIS, rounding up the undesirables. We hate to complain but it is quiet without them nowadays…..

Still, it sure is energizing to hear about the success of your family.  Makes us proud to be (Fill in the blank)_________ (related) or ________ (acquainted).  Gives us something to brag about when we talk to our friends and neighbors. We can not wait to get next year’s missive.  We’ll be praying for your continued success because it is so nice to know there is someone out there that we are related to (or know) families who has their sugar….. together.

We Wish You A Merry Christmas…And A Happy New Year.

Love,

The Truth-Be-Darned and Don’t-Sweat-The-Little-Stuff

Note:  A lot of changes have occurred since this letter was sent.  Hubby is now RIP Daddy, gardening in heaven for spiritual bucks and Wonder Boy…well, he turned out just fine too.…….we are not the type to brag, but he works on Bay Street in the Financial District, ya know…where he finally pays for his own lunch.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go….when you get your first Brag Sheet tucked neatly in a ♥warming Christmas card….Momma says, she does, that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.  So began the Christmas Card letter that was supposed to be an update on the progress of family and friends that you may not have heard from since the previous Yuletide Season.

A few years back Momma claims she got such a letter from a friend of the family, let’s call her Lady Brag-Brag. Now Lady Brag-Brag is a good Christian person but she also is a very proud wife and mother whose intention, in all likelihood, was not to boast and make others feel inferior. She just wanted to share her pride in having an upwardly mobile husband and children.  Instead it had a negative effect, which made Momma and Her-Sister-the Queen take stock and think that they were sadly lacking. Where had they gone wrong?  Were they blessed or cursed, to be passed by such honors?

At that time in Momma’s life, RIP Daddy was still alive and by her side. However most days were spent visiting their gorgeous but long-suffering niece, Lovie. in her last days at the Palliative Care Unit. Therefore Momma took along the letter to astound Her-Sister-the Queen, (Lovie’s mother) so she could also feel bemused about how their families just did not measure up. Since Momma and Her-Sister-the Queen shared a warped sense of humor, they passed time by spinning off a reply about their own family units that Momma could communicate back to these over achievers.

It seemed that the Lady Brag-Brag’s husband’s business had grown in absolute leaps and bounds in the past year.  They had managed to get away on two different holidays in the sun, where they rejuvenated their bodies and souls.  It made Momma and Her-Sister-the Queen want to cry out, what about their families’ bodies and souls?  In the past year plus, Momma and Her-Sister-the Queen felt blessed just to be able to be by Lovie’s bedside daily, little own thinking of rest or relaxation.

The letter writer’s children  absolutely ‘took the cake’….. so there was none left for anyone else.  They were in various Universities across Canada, on Honor Rolls, graduating at the top of their class, then getting plum positions, shoved down their throats by a shallow society that heaps favors on only the brightest, the most beautiful and the best.  It fair made their heads spin, as Momma and Her-Sister-the Queen recalled how their competitive Aunties had children (their cousins) that were carbon copies, so many years earlier and they were not even related.  (Reality Check in ‘Real Time’ – none of their cousins have set the world on fire…at least yet).

It did not stop there. The partners that her children chose were also gifted, graduating from even more prestigious international universities, and being bid on for future positions. Say what? Even Momma and Her-Sister-the Queen, who earnestly believe in the Mystery of the Reality, were baffled about how so much good karma surrounded Lady Brag-Brag’s family. It was their intention to point out to her that just because their paltry lives were not quite on the same path… yet, it did not mean that they couldn’t enjoy what they had.

Maybe as Momma and  Her-Sister-the Queen, ruminated, they stretched the truth a wee bit, but only to make a point, you understand. Their response was swift, although cutting, still laced with absolute, abiding reality.

So wait for it, expect it….like the Baby Jesus, it is on the way.