Author: housekeeping

Now I am not so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed come morning…and it is not because I have a drinking problem or an addiction to sleeping pills or mood stabilizers or whatever those Two Footed take to make them function …. offset by caffeine laden black as tar coffee to jump-start them every morning.

But Momma, bless her God–Fearing–Child–Rearing Soul, does none of those things…..she does not even drink coffee so I can’t get away with anything ….Well, almost anything….…. like taking a nip out of Diva Calico Gen when she jumps off the kitchen table or putting Bad Boy Andy in his place if he is sucking up all  the oxygen in the air by caterwauling and complaining about how long it is taking him to get fed.

But just like in the Good Book, (Isaiah to be specific),  Momma saw with own two cataract cleared eyes that ‘the wolf and the lamb will live together; the leopard will lie down with the baby goat; the calf and the yearling will be safe with the lion’ because arch enemies made Peace On Earth.

Every morning…same routine.  Diva Calico Gen and Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte (Charlie) follow Momma to the kitchen.  They want to be fed NOW.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, there is still food at their station BUT they want fresh, soft, just out of the fridge vittles.

Then the  Bad Boy Andy rouses himself, complaining all the way to the kitchen, that another day has dawned.  He meanders close to Charlie and gives her that Bad Boy stare and the hissing begins, followed by Charlie’s paw striking within a millimetre of Andy’s nose….which precipitates Andy’s paw to strike back….same old…same old.

Not this morning….the approach…the same… but instead of hissing and paw swiping, Bad Boy Andy and Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte exchanged sniff kisses… As Momma says…you live long enough, you’ll see everything.……then moved away from each other to their own feeding stations, to chow down in peace.

I know the reason why because I am a Four Footed Dog Shrink….you see Bad Boy Andy was in a stellar mood because he slept on Wonder Boy’s chest all…night…long…. For the past few years Charlie has slept every night with Momma….which meant….Andy was shunned like the English by the Amish…while Gen….well, has privileges (kinda like an American Express Membership Card Holder)….. anywhere she throws her hat is her home.

Now, I am hoping, as of today, it is all about New Beginnings, Give Peace A Chance and Happily Ever After…..but you know Bad Boy Andy and Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte…can we even make two days in a row…ya think?

No worries… I am keeping a log…like a Scientific Experiment, conducted under Controlled Conditions, I will record over a set Time Frame, approved by the Board (that would be only Diva Calico Gen and myself, since Andy and Charlie have skin in the game) and duly Tabled and Reported. 

So place your bets and cross your fingers…will ‘the cat and the yearling be safe with the lion’….I know what I would lay my life on…NOT.

I am the Diva Calico Gen, prone to seek out and claim all things that Sparkle and Glow…like a big old cantankerous crow….without the feathers.  No, I am Divinely Calico, sleek and soft and sometimes….just sometimes, more trouble than I am worth.

Please understand, what is off-limits for others, never applies to me…at least in my mind…the way that I see it.  If God made me in such a way that in one leap, I could be on a kitchen table or cupboard, surely He meant for me to do just that…even if it brings out the tattle tale in Jakita, who believes she was put on earth to being Law and Order to all Four Footed creatures.  One sure thing…if I go fishing in the basket for a treasure, like say a push-pin, a ribbon, a no longer in use penny and knock it to the floor, Jakita will pursue it with passion. Game On….till she looses…because I have more finesse and speed and staying power.

I ♥♥♥ Jakita….but when it comes time to share WonderBoy’s affection…not so much….It is each beast, on its own mission and the winner takes all.

If Jakita wedges herself by WonderBoy’s side to sleep, I claim his pillow, purring annoyingly loud, look at me, listen to me….anything she can do, I can do better….much better.  After all I come from the rough and tumble, born in the Great Outdoors, with no Two Footed Assistant.  Even though I scoff about Jakita’s Pedigree Blue Blood lines, (according to her) I acknowledge that the Two Footed assisted in her birthing process in order to sell her for big green back bucks.  Sadly, though I was a freebie,  Jakita, through no fault of her own is part of Evil Capitalism….but I try not to let that diminish my love for her.

In  my heart, I am a Pacifist and am curious and welcoming of all felines in my midst….I’ll even seek out the tattered strays….because I like to live on the edge and….realize, truth be told….that could have been me…if Momma had not scooped me up, along with Bad Boy Andy and Beau-Regard, out of a Life of Noise and Confusion, Hunger and Adventure at the Tier One Automotive Plant.

Still I can never deny my feline DNA, even though at three and a half weeks I lost my Cat Mama and gained a Two Footed Momma who never could teach me how to stalk my prey, sleep all day, prowl all night.

I am not quite sure Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte (Charlie) is really a cat (except she has the hissing down to a science), because she has no interest in hunting, scavenging or even stepping a foot outside….no, Charlie is inside all the way, in a Cocoon of Bliss created by Momma.

Why would Charlie ever leave a safe haven for the unknown???  Is it possible….maybe Charlie is wiser than me…even?  Yeah, but…. who wants to do a Risk Assessment for each and every dreary step (obviously come under the influence at the Tier One Automotive Stamping Plant) me…I’d rather do an Action  Plan ….(If my toes are held to the fire…long enough).

Cuz…Just like Frankie Baby…I do It My Way….