It is with a broken heart we announce that our Bad Boy Andy Cat is MIA, presumed killed in action. Andy’s‘let the cat in, let the cat out’ was so consistent that we were totally blindsided.
We (meaning Wonderboy) have beat the bushes beside, under, by the creek, to no avail as well as have neighbours on high alert, in case we have to extradite a RescueMission.
Everyday Andy seemed to shrink, so a feather was heavier than he was. Still with loud and annoying caterwauling, he insisted we let him continue his outside routine and we capitulated.
What, you don’t like to be swatted?
We like to believe Andy, like a Brave Warrior Viking, reached Valhallawith only his paw as his sword, ready to continue feasting and fighting for eternity.
Bad Boy Andy leaves behind his sister Diva Calico Gen Cat who he treated like a princess…because well, she is a princess…. Andy also leaves behind Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte (Charlie) Cat who he loved to intimidate and chase round and round the house…just for the hal-a-bit…although as he aged, the chases ceased and a good snarl sufficed. And then, Andy leaves behind his Baby Dog Jakita who he groomed faithfully and protected from all known and unknown dangers, be it the sound of the vacuum cleaner or the rumble of distant thunder.
We are family….as babies
Everyone has a Bad Boy Andy story…he was so devoted and loving with us, played with squirrels and raccoons, but had a misguided belief he could battle and win against other feral, or forest freaks…like Frank Sinatra…He did it his way.
TheEnd or Not Quite
PS: Happy Ending…The cat came back…the cat came back..thought he was a goner but the cat came back…in a week and a day….
Where the Children of the Forest hid behind trees to spy on Delta Dawn.
And then one day, on the 2nd Summer of her arrival, Delta Dawn was Gone.Baby.Gone. The ChildrenoftheForest diligently stalked the ramshackle old house, the alley she used to float down, for days, until we reached the unsavoury consensus, she had left, like she had come, disappearing like a soap bubble in to an unknown destination….And so, it was time to ask our inscrutable, sworn to secrecy, Mother and Father just where was our FallenAngel, DeltaDawn ?
It seems like Adults love Secrets, even more than their own kin because, total Poker Faced, one parent lying, the other swearing to it, Father said he heard (think Peter Rabbit???), DeltaDawn had been assigned another location where there were even more corrupt folks than ourselves, who had LessonstoLearn in order to find TheWay, TheTruth and The Light….we didn’t (really) believe him.
In tandem, we rolled our eyes, filed outside and headed to what was once called our Play House…renamed our Little House and newly Christened our Club House (so much more mature, we thought) to brainstorm possibilities, run them up a flag pole, Plan-Do-Check-Act.
Eyes to roll
We Baby Boomers weren’t tethered to Social Media for entertainment… ‘in the day’…. we met face-to-face, we invented games, competitions and actually read books like Nancy Drew’s The Mystery of the Missing Candlesticks and the Hardy Boys, The Haunting at Echo Lake. We considered ourselves to be First Class Detectives and Sleuths so…
So someone suggested we borrow our Auntie’s Ouija Board and ask it where DeltaDawn was hanging out, but after discussing it at length, we decided that that the Board gave such vague responses, which could be translated so many ways, so let’s shelf that idea for now. (Note: Not Reject… Maybe revisit in future if all else failed.)
Next someone brought forth the idea that maybe Auntie Spinster (christened Auntie out of respect, not related by blood) could read our Tea Leaves. She did a great job of telling us we would all go far, get married, have children, live happily ever after. The only problem…she was a Never-to-Be-Trusted-Adult and if any of us let it slip that our intentions were to find Delta Dawn, she may tell our parents who would nip the idea (and us) in the bud. We might endure House Arrest for the rest of the Summer….Probably best not to pursue this Chain of Action if your Freedom was at stake.
But there isalways an answer, as long as there is a question… in’it? Our family had the original deeds of all the surrounding properties passed down through the generations….we’d see if that would lend a clue or two.
It was, as you can imagine, a huge convoluted Journal of Maps and names listing of every family. Surely it would show the ramshackle old house, its listed owner and his progeny…..maybe the very missing clue to find our FallenAngel, DeltaDawn.
Father kept the Journal, with its strange hieroglyphics, at the bottom of an old trunk, up in the attic, away from little snooping eyes because it listed every birth, even those who were stillborn or born ‘on the wrong side of the blanket’ as the Old Folks would say….and it wasn’t any of our business to know the details, according to our Mother and Father.
We are strong…we are invincible…we are children…in the day.
Even families in the ChildrenoftheForest held such pink and bluesurprises and somehow we would have to bypass that information as to not bring them embarrassment….everyone knew…but ssshhh…it’s still a Secret….And ya never knew when you’d need them to help build a barn, birth a child or help out at the Church Bazaar…so, as mentioned in other revelations, Country Folk play the Long Game…Never Forget…. yet Never Reveal…
So…Hang on DeltaDawn….We’re gonna rescue you….Hang on DeltaDawn….We’re gonna rescue you….
I am The D.C.G., The.Diva.Calico.Gen…. How awesome is that name??? Maybe not as out there as TheO.A…. The.Original.Angel…. but then I don’t do parallel universes…I am all in to the Here and Now of the Here and Now. Still I got some moves that other Kitty Kats would purr for and I know… When to Hold It, I Know When to Fold It, I Know When to Walk Away and I Know When to Run…..
Now everyone knows my predilection with Glamor and Razzle-Dazzle….the painting of my toe (I mean claw) nails …. I haven’t tried lipstick yet but when I see it in some gob smacking golden fire sparkle shade of rapture (or do I have to invent it myself….again….a Girl’s gotta do, what a Girl’s gotta do), then I’ll be ALL IN.…..
Then there is my teeny tiny diamond studs in my pointy little earlobes (coming soon) and the diamond collar (okay, it will be Zircons….whatever….long as I fool those Yummy Mummies of Oakville…and their pampered but oblivious pets). Lately, after carefully observing those Yummy Mummies, walking their cossetted prodigies with their blinged out collars (and leads), I am thinking….I will have to one up them…how about a little bracelet, to wear just above the paw….on the cuff…made of rainbowcrystals that catch every sunbeam, creating a spectrum of shades that blindingly hypnotize any Rubber.Neckers….but that may all be in another Time.And.Dimension so for now…Just the Facts, Ma’am…. Just the Facts, Ma’am….
Tree branches kiss the sky….
And the fact is…well… some Kiss the Sky…some Kiss the Blarney Stone…and some Kiss the Fountain of Youth (for a price, paid in this world or the next…randomly chosen by your Internal Wheel of Fate)…and Bad Boy Andy swears that is what has happened to me….we are born the same day, to the same Mama but where he wobbles, I pounce, where his eyes glaze over, mine sparkle and shine, like as he winds down, I wind up.
The Bad Boy says, maybe (mos’ def), I made a Deal With the Devil…which works for today but not so much for the Unknown Parallel Dimensions, coming soon….. Yikes, maybe I am the Red Priestess Melisandre from Game of Thrones …. when I take off my Zircon collar, I will turn into a wizened, old, bald, skin and bones replica of cat corpse….but there is no such thing as hokus-pokus magic spells…right???
And I know a thing or two about a thing or two….
Bad Boy Andy must be yanking my chain…I am sure totally…after all, I want to end up in Pet Paradise with our Big Bro Beau-Re-Gard – (RIP), Bad Boy Andy, Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte (whenever they’re out of here), even poor Tailess Miss Mao Cat, Kat Manda and all our dear wildlife feral, (Gone but Never Forgotten) ….and of course, my BFF-All-Knowing-Angel-Puppy Jakita…..so just STOP with this stuff that I am doomed to Purgatory for somehow doing something I didn’t even ask for….Just except it and get over it…I’mSpecial…..maybe a bit shallow….but still Special.
You know me: I won’t hand in my chips….Till I’m seated at the table…There’ll be time enough for remorse’….Once the wheel’s been spun….(Paraphrase The Gambler: Kenny Rogers)
It’s not like I know much about ‘intheday’…but of course, being a BabyBoomer, Momma does. Now we know our Momma has been known to underplay, overplay and exaggerate (well, at least stretch) the truth,but in every story there is a grain of truth with a lesson to be learned, so I pay attention….mostly.
One story Momma told me was about attending weddings ‘intheday’. No $100,000.00 Cinderella Fairytale wedding with limos, a Paradise Venue providing six course meals with a nine foot tall wedding cake made out of frosted filler and actual cake layers, a DJ to ‘Get the Party Started’, a huge display of Fireworks….then a Food truck arrives, in the wee hours, with sliders, while tables groan with cakes, squares, chocolate fountains, candy…oh, I forgot the Photo Booth to memorialize the Best.Wedding.Ever……
Grandmama & Grandpapa, ‘in the day’ – married 1941- Momma was a no show – a ’50’s kid.
‘IntheDay’ (say 1940’s-50’s), the Bride and Groom married in a simple ceremony and the Minister announced to the congregation (which consisted of family members, from both sides, friends and neighbors), an invitation to the bride’s home to celebrate the joining of two families till death did they part….no invitations were sent out…no RSVP necessary. Once they had all arrived, home made wine or spiritswere passed around to the men, while the women were offered tea or coffee, and the kids were served Cool Aid. Then the women got busy in the kitchen, setting up the pot luck supper to which they had all contributed.
Now I get to the part that troubles me. Momma said the men were fed first, so that they could have all they wanted of whatever they wanted…after all men did physical labour, brought home the bacon, so to say. Once the men were ‘fed up’, the lady guests were invited to eat…and…if there was any food left over, the children could share it. At many the wedding, anniversary, Momma said, she and the other kids sat on the long, steep, dark staircases, praying there would be leftovers…if not, Her-Mother-God-Rest-Her-Soul, fed her kids when they returned home. I mean, dogs are treated better today….
No More Barn Cats….Morguefile By: MaryBaird
I roll my big brown eyes when Momma starts on how spoiled and pampered we dogs and cats are today in comparison to ‘intheday’. Momma tells me cats lived in the barn, in the heat of the summer, or in the Arctic Vortex in the dead of winter…when I shuddered Momma said, ‘what…they could get in a stall with a horse or cow for warmth.’ Now my eyes are not just rolling, they are spinning around in circles. I love our kitties…who could do that….well, Momma conceded, sometime in the 1960’s, Her-Mother-God-Rest-Her-Soul, started bringing the cats indoors and they not only quickly and quietly took over, they also never left….pity, that.
Momma says the dogs were always allowed in doors (at her home, anyway) because they were supposed to be Guard Dogs…mostly they slept through anyone coming to and through the door, didn’t even raise their head or wag their tail at the intruders… not like there was much to steal but childrenand everyone had as many as they wanted at home already.
Fancy me a Guard Dog…I just may deafen and lick intruders to death…
Anyway, it would be hard to stop these country folk entering since doors were never locked…starting at 6:am you never knew who was going to amble by, have a cup of coffee on his way to a full day of cutting hay, lumber, wool off sheep ….whatever needed to be done…no specialists, ‘intheday’….
Now pets were never bought high protein, vitamin enriched dry food in bags or little trays of roasted to perfection wet food…the cats lived on a lot of field mice and bread soaked in milk. Dogs got only food scraps, leftovers. Now I love human food and I get a bit and a bite every day. Our Vet is obsessed with my weight (give me my way, I’d eat till I dropped) so everything I consume, Momma knows the Calorie Count, if I had enough exercise to burn and churn them…so even with my most begging eyes I cannot swindle more… just saying…Praise God I wasn’t born ‘intheday’ and….
As Forest Gump would say: ‘That’s all I gotta say about that subject….’
The Coaches are looking bewildered… Can you see that look in their eyes…..Did they ever give your kid…Permission…To use that outrageous hair dye???
Okay, Blue Jays…Let’s Play Ball!
And what’s with that God awful hair style….Poor Coaches….Must drive them just insane…But Thank goodness, I got it in writing….I know they are already there…
Bunny Family From Morguefile.com deemac1
Why would they eat so much junk food…. As parents have ya never chastised them… Coach you’re doing such a fine job…. Interference would only add problems…
Our Wonder Boy is just dandy (in our eyes)…thank you.
So Coaches, I’ll make y’all a promise….I won’t blame You…If you don’t blame me….When you have children…I’ll remain silent….As they decide what THEY wanna be…..
I look like an Angel…but I’m the Devil in Disguise….
I am The D.C.G., ….The.Diva.Calico.Gen…. How awesome is that name??? You say….maybe…well not as out there asThe O.A…. The.Original.Angel…. but then I don’t do parallel universes…
I am all in to the Here and Now of the Here and Now. Still, I got some moves that other Kitty Kats would purr for…. cuz I know … ‘When to Hold It, I Know When to Fold It, I Know When to Walk Away and I Know When to Run’…..much smarter than Bad Boy Andy that way… but it may be I was born with the two X (female) chromosomes….
Now everyone knows my predilection with Glamorand Razzle–Dazzle….the painting of my toe (I mean claw) nails …. I haven’t tried lipstick yet but when I see it in some gob smacking golden fire sparkle shade of rapture(or do I have to invent it myself….again….a Girl’s gotta do, what a Girl’s gotta do), then I’ll be ALL IN.…..
Diva Calico Gen Tuck 10.0!
Then there is my teeny tiny diamond studs in my pointy little earlobes (coming soon) and the diamond collar (okay, it will be Zircons….whatever….long as I fool those Yummy Mummies of Oakville…and their pampered but oblivious pets). Lately, after carefully observing those Yummy Mummies, walking their cossetted prodigies with their blinged out collars (and leads), I am thinking…. Momma will have to one up them…how about a little bracelet, to wear just above the paw….on the cuff…made of RainbowCrystals that catch every sunbeam, creating a Spectrumof Shadesthat blindingly hypnotizes any Rubber.Neckers….but that may all be in another Time.And.Dimensionso for now…Just the Facts, Ma’am…. Just the Facts, Ma’am….
And the fact is…well some, Kiss the Sky…some, Kiss the Blarney Stone…and some, Kiss the Fountain of Youth (for a price, paid in this world or the next…randomly chosen by your Internal Wheel of Fate)…and Bad Boy Andy swears that is what has happened to me….we are born the same day, to the same Mama but where he wobbles, I pounce, where his eyes glaze over, mine sparkle and shine, like as he winds down, I wind up.
The Bad Boy says, maybe (mos’ def), I made a Deal With the Devil…which works for today but not so much for the Unknown Parallel Dimensions, coming soon….. Yikes, maybe I am the Red Priestess Melisandre from Game of Thrones…. when I take off my Zircon collar, I will turn into a wizened, old, bald, skin and bones replica of cat corpse….but… there is no such thing as hokus-pokus magic spells…right???
Let Bad Boy Andy tell you….
Bad Boy Andy must be yanking my chain…I am sure totally…after all, I want to end up in Pet Paradise with our Big Bro Beau-Re-Gard – (RIP), Bad Boy Andy,Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte(whenever they’re out of here), even poor No Tail Miss Mao Cat, Kat Manduand all our dear wildlife feral, (Gone but Never Forgotten) ….and of course, my BFF-All-Knowing-Angel-Puppy Jakita…..so just STOP with this stuff that I am doomed to Purgatory for somehow doing something I didn’t even ask for….Just accept it and get over it, my Bad Boy Andy…
Just so Special…..
I’m Special…..maybe a bit shallow….but still Special. After much pondering, I’ve decided to embrace and even preach, to all who have ears to listen:
Ya never cash in your chips….When you’re seated at the table…There’ll be time enough for reality….Once the wheel’s been spun….
Recent pic of Momma and Her WonderBoy …. she consults him for financial success.
Momma was talking to our WonderBoy about going to see her Financial Planner and I asked (with my eyes, of course)…like what the heck is that…and she understood my query…because that’s a Momma’s speciality…or so it seems.
Apparently, you give your hard earned money from over the years to a sound (but not high risk) Financial Institution who invests it for you at an agreed upon commission (nawthing’s free, as Uncle would say)who toss it in a pool with other investors…. (like copper pennies… make a wish…cross your fingers)…
Bears can tear you and the market to shreds.
Then you pray for a charging BullMarket…not a destructive BearMarket…but it is not like when Momma went out to work everyday and brought home a set salary (whether she applied herself or not – are you kidding…Momma would always apply herself or die trying…so she says).
With the Investing Scenario…you just never know…the tech world goes in a tailspin, your net worth drops.
China or India sigh, more trouble in the bottom line, the US Presidentcancels trade deals, keep your head low….Should you stay the course or get the heck out of Dodge???Makes me ponder where my next dog bones might come from? Should I, Jakita become a Working Dog?
Now can you just see me going out the door, waving buh-bye to Momma with a fanny pack strapped around my rotund belly, stuffed full of food, treats and bottled water. I would be an excellent Sniffer Dog at the Airport because I have a keen sense of smell be it money, drugs and especially food and the bugs that come with it and a most aggravating bark to signal ‘I got a hit’ …then I heard those dogs only get paid in love and food…and I already have plenty of that from Momma and WonderBoy….without getting my fanny and pack out the door…..
Certainly I would beabsolutely great at herding the farmers’ sheep, cows or even cats (lot of cat experience on my Resume) but most farmers are high on love and low on money…if the Federal Government can’t pay me at the airport, forget getting paid by farmers…deep sigh.
Okay, Okay I got it, I’ll become a Dog Model, walk the runway, strut my stuff, get in to advertising….a dog can make a killing at ads these days and everyone says I have a beautiful face, soulful eyes and a coat of fur that gleams and glistens from white to tan to various shades of brown, speckled with auburn and gold….just one problem…that rotund belly…I would have to diet…and well…that’s not happening…any time soon….
A Bull can charge with such speed, taking markets high. Fr: Morgue File: American Bison
Seems like there is only one solution….to give up Doggie Prayers for aBull Run so that Momma’s portfolio will grow and I don’t have to bring in money to support the family…
So Tech World, no hacking, China & India, no sighing, Mr. President ofthe Free World, behave….Momma and I are depending on you…
So where will you be this weekend…..But the family all know by now….In some Rink,or a Ball Park, Small Town, Anywhere…Second guessing the Refs and Judges….As they decide who won and who lost….
Far be it for mere parents to distrust…Their ability to stick to the Guidelines…So how come the kids that break all the rules…Carry home every trophy in site….
Fund Raisers driving us loco… Fr: Morguefile
Parents can’t let that divide them….We got a lot of years to put in side by side….So let’s talk about fees this season…We’re paying too much, don’t you think….And what do you make of those parents…Who made such fools of themselves…Fund raising is just driving us ‘loco’.…Let me guess, you’re running the Bingo tonight….
But could any of us still be called sane….Ambition just wearing us thin….Glorious highs then slammed to the ice…Wears out the best human being….
The sun, she’s gonna shine tomorrow….
Surely it is a good time to ponder….How realistic are some of our goals…
The sun, she’s going to shine tomorrow…Kid, I’ll love you, no matter, the same….You don’t have to bring home no medal….In the end…It’s all just a game!
S
O
