It’s that time again… that year again… Census time…… Even though, not withstanding, nowadays another battle is raging… the long arm of the law can lay manslaughter chargesif you willfully invite anyone in your bubble….and your guest gets Covid 19 and dies…so they say..so it is written…
No lying, Momma…..
Momma was at her workstation… a simple laptop, on a TV tray, in front of the easy chair in the living room…
Wonder Boy was at his station… since Covid hit, he has taken over the dining room table, with monitors, screens, keyboards, cords, numerous ear phone sets, cell phones (2) and audio boxes to listen to good vibes as he works…you know the drill…you work from home…have meetings by zoom….don’t leave home unless you have a medical appointment or need essentials…READ: food and prescription drugs… *not recreational) ...oh, and booze….
In to the still, camea heavy handed persistent pounding on the door… like those cop shows, when they are after the bad guys… we opened the door to find a folded self gluing envelope with your own personal on line Access Number to fill the 2021 Census on line… there are two types of Census… the short version and the long…Momma must be registered as a communist combatant some where in ICloud… she always gets the Long Version.
WIP Inventory From Morguefile.com DSCF9355.JPGBy milza abc03.jpgBy inkogutto
Okay, okay, sorry.., they looked like Ma and Pa Kettle.
Back in 1812 or thereabouts, Momma’s Great Great Great Grandparents had to list their livestock, maybe how many chickens they had and how many eggs they laid a day…important need to know statistics in order to feed the nation.
Nowadays, the important question is what sex you were born and which sex you now identify with….. as well as ethic background… not a born and bred Canadian but descended from a list of all DNA your ancestors contributed, along the way…. Momma also checked Other…just in case the Scientists are correct and we descended from Monkeys… it’s called covering all the basis.
Yup, multigenerations.
Momma was so glad there is only two in her household because...imagine…questioning your 15 year old what sex they identified with now… even worse, if a multigenerational family resides at same home…imagine asking your deaf grandparents what sex they identify with now…today…yeah!
Even more obtrusive is asking how much every member of the family makes, how many hours they work…obviously, we will have to put a tracking devise on Wonder Boy to get the most accurate information possible.
Home: Worth what you’ll pay for it. From Morguefile.com P2236845.JPGBy mconnors
Then there is the current value of your home, who pays what and how much did they pay…are you serious…here’s my best guesstimate…deal with it. We all know all this pertinent information lays in the Dead Files in the iCloud Home of No Return….
Seems like overkill to a small time player like Momma: They make their living off the Census news… Just give them somethin’… somethin’ they can use…Your G Man lives to see you lose…They love dirty laundry…(Paraphrase Don Henley)
Matilda…aka: Mattie…aka: Waltzing Matilda….the first born child…after a long, protracted labor…delivered by the local Stork Lady…there were no doctors in that back woods in those days.
Mrs. Mama looked at her new born and asked the Stork Lady…isn’t her face rather odd shaped, her head kinda pointy…..ah, yours’ would be too, if you were struggling in a birth canal for hours, struggling to breathe, the old Stork Lady sagely proclaimed.
Mattie ate…Mattie thrived… but in tiny increments…a pleasant wee bairnie… Not a wailer…but a little vacant and slow in comparison to other babies.
A year passed and the Stork Lady was back with her big black bag to deliver a 2nd Bundle of joy, a sister for Mattie who soon met and surpassed all the goal posts Mattie sought to achieve…. no doubt. Mrs. Mama kept the Stork Lady busy, as in rapid succession she was called back to deliver Baby 3 and Baby 4, both strong, healthy sons…and a few years later…a Surprise, Baby 5, a Sister for Mattie,rounded off the family.
Mattie watched her siblings closely, finally mastering walking when she was almost 3 years old…and at last started stringing a few recognizable words together, instead of senseless babble, in her 5th year.
When it was time to go to school, a worried Mrs. Mama, decided to keep her back a year and have her start with her Baby 2 Sister… but school wasn’t Mattie’s cup of tea… the teachers explained. There must be better life for Mattie.
The Wise Mrs. Mama asked Mattie, since she was the eldest, could she stay at home and help Mama with the pickling, the clearing of the dishes off the table, the pot scrubbing, the hanging the laundry on the line outside.
Mattie’s Bunny Family From Morguefile.com deemac1
Mattie was thrilled…what could be more rewarding than pleasing your Mama.
So Mattie went through the stages in life as a valued helper, dedicating her spare time to chasing butterflies, seeking out bunny families and whispering to the flowersin the back yard…sometimes dancing with invisible partners to music only they could hear, smiling and clapping and oh, so happy.
Don’t feel sorry for Mattie…Remember instead, her beloved Sister, Baby 2, died in childbirth,Baby 3, her brother’s life was surrendered to the Great War. Brother, Baby 4, returned from the war, a young man man, troubled by what he had seen and done. He drifted off, some say out West, others swear down South, never to be heard from again, but he’ll be back… so the Old Folks said. Mattie’s dear parents were taken to their Eternal Rest but she had a happy home with her Sister, Baby 5…
Waltzing Matilda From Morguefile.com mirrormirror.jp By kakisky
Sometimes, I understand, when the chores were done, you could see them, Mattie and Sister, Baby 5, arms entwined, twirl and waltz around the garden singing:
Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda…You’ll come a Waltzing Matilda with me…And they sang as they danced in the garden green….”You’ll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.”(ParaphraseAndré Rieu)
In the continuing saga of Now you see her…Now you don’t… no worries…. we, the ChildrenoftheForest, are still on the trail of our fearless,mysterious Delta Dawn.
Being sound of body and mind, (well, almost), the ChildrenoftheForest soon understood Father’s methods of Record Keeping of the Journal of Maps….It seemed every 7 years or so he updated the properties, their owners and had been doing so for the last 21 years or so…before that my Grandfather had kept the Journal, previous to that my Great Grandfather and so on and so on.
Delta Dawn’s Ramshackle Homestead, Fr: Morguefile
And so we flipped back through the pages, seeing VACANT noted on the Ramshackle Property, map after map…until some 40-50 years ago and then like a light in the wilderness it read: Property of Tom McEarnuff. Who??? No such family lived among us now….no students at our school had that last name…we had plenty of Mc’s living in the area, but no Earnuffs…It also listed his wife’s name and their 4 children as well as listed their livestock – 2 horses, 4 cows, some sheep, chickens and a pig…How bizarre, how bizarre.
Another roundtable was necessary for the ChildrenoftheForest to take a vote, have a consensus…maybe it was time to ask Father for further information if we really wanted to see Delta Dawn again. Now everyone knew Father’s ability to spin a tale for at least 7 counties but if they made him understand the gravity of the outcome, maybe Truth and Reconciliation would follow.
The forest trees and alley…
With some skepticism and fingers crossed, the ChildrenoftheForest, marched from their Club House, and filed in the living room where Father was busy reading a National Geographic. Mother was knitting more mittens because winter always was coming, often ahead of schedule.
The designated speaker of the ChildrenoftheForest said, ‘Father, no more tall tales, no more half truths, we are here for the Truth so we can have Reconciliation. Who are the McEarnuffs and where did they go? In our hearts, we know Delta Dawnwas a McEarnuff and we hear her calling us to help her get home. Please Father.’
Father looked at Mother, Mother looked at Father…silence followed with only the ticking of the Grandfather clock in the corner, rooting them to the past and the here and now.
With a sigh, Father said. ‘It is complicated. I must speak to all the parents of the ChildrenoftheForestbefore I share the truth, as we know it. It is not only my story to tell. If all the parents are in agreement we will move forward. Just be patient a while longer.’
Star Dust fr: Morguefile
Had we uncovered a ‘Secret NeverToBeTold’ or was Father yanking our chain, giving himself time to spin an epic fabrication…the man could write movies with his untethered, wondering mind…was it because he read all those National Geographic, ya think?
Delta Dawn… Did we hear ya say…you were meeting him here today????
I gotta tell ya…I am changing…and that’s a good thing…because the old me…or the young doggie…you choose….was judgmental,harsh and unreliable…but I always had my heart in the right place…I like to think…
I am more of a pondering doggie now…not nearly as CubanReactionary, as I started out….What could you expect though from a purebred Havanese puppy …having watched the Revolutionary Utopia created through the fine mind of Che Guevara…as the 1 percent bolted the island…leaving us to swim or sink…apparently my descendants were excellent swimmers or there would be…no me….
Not like I can randomly castigate all the wealthy who secreted their treasure out of a war torn country, Cuba, to the land of milk and honey…a lot of well-to-do loved their puppies as much as their gold and took us with them to this alien land of Guns and Roses…Law and Order…(well, somewhat). We thrived…Finally in 1996, our breed got recognized and could be registered by the AKC…No one ever said that the Americans rush over welcoming yet another immigrant species in to the Home of the Brave and the Land of the Free…
Yup, that is Momma’s wedding….
Momma and her family are puritanical, hard headed and contrary (with a biting sense of humor), because of the over indulgence of Scottish blood with a squirt of French that makes them ironic with a need to question…in combination, it can be heaven… or it can be hell…so excuse me…if I think everything must be shared…I watched communism at work. If I seem intense…barking at a free-wheeling butterfly…well, it’s in my blood……
Still you know, I have learned to chill…somewhat…When I was younger, Momma called me her favorite tattle tale because if a cat jumped on a counter, I was on high alert…barking, snarling, bringing Momma running….I wasn’t a tattle tale…I came from a land of Communists…who not only spy on those from other countries but those who work with them, play with them, family with them…. (okay, family as a verb… that is a new use and probably not acceptable in Webster’s Dictionary)…It was my job to look,listen and report back…and being the doggie that made the Rules and Regulations Manifesto…I took it all seriously.
We were so much younger then…..
So Momma and I are probably like the most of inhabitants of our InexplicableUniverse…just teetering on too much of some things…not enough of another…but hey…don’t blame us:
It’s in our blood… It’s in our blood……Well…. So to speak…. Thanks Shawn Mendes ….for letting the world know our dilemma….
It is with a broken heart we announce that our Bad Boy Andy Cat is MIA, presumed killed in action. Andy’s‘let the cat in, let the cat out’ was so consistent that we were totally blindsided.
We (meaning Wonderboy) have beat the bushes beside, under, by the creek, to no avail as well as have neighbours on high alert, in case we have to extradite a RescueMission.
Everyday Andy seemed to shrink, so a feather was heavier than he was. Still with loud and annoying caterwauling, he insisted we let him continue his outside routine and we capitulated.
What, you don’t like to be swatted?
We like to believe Andy, like a Brave Warrior Viking, reached Valhallawith only his paw as his sword, ready to continue feasting and fighting for eternity.
Bad Boy Andy leaves behind his sister Diva Calico Gen Cat who he treated like a princess…because well, she is a princess…. Andy also leaves behind Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte (Charlie) Cat who he loved to intimidate and chase round and round the house…just for the hal-a-bit…although as he aged, the chases ceased and a good snarl sufficed. And then, Andy leaves behind his Baby Dog Jakita who he groomed faithfully and protected from all known and unknown dangers, be it the sound of the vacuum cleaner or the rumble of distant thunder.
We are family….as babies
Everyone has a Bad Boy Andy story…he was so devoted and loving with us, played with squirrels and raccoons, but had a misguided belief he could battle and win against other feral, or forest freaks…like Frank Sinatra…He did it his way.
TheEnd or Not Quite
PS: Happy Ending…The cat came back…the cat came back..thought he was a goner but the cat came back…in a week and a day….
