Andy Evolves to the Brainiac-Protector

Being Andy, the Brainiac Cat, is not all it is cracked up to be.  Sure, sure, sure, I get recognition for my cleverness from Momma and Wonder Boy, but as  for my fellow felines, well, it is just water off a duck’s back to them.  After all, a Higher Power doled out the goodies, like  Diva Calico Gen has the art of being  irresistible, while Beau(Re-Guarded) had to ability to protect us.  It is not something I am allowed to brag about since it falls under the same premise that a cat does not choose the color of fur assigned. No, that evolves from some unknown hereditary genes that no cat ever takes credit for.

Then again, there are those Hybrid Designer Cats who may be bred for size, temperament or lines of ancestry but, not me. I am a Proud Feral descended from the deep, dark Jungle many, many eons ago.

Still, here in Kitty Cat Club Med, a lot of changes have occurred.  My Big Brother RIP Beau-Re-Guard caught the Blue Cloud to Heaven so I feel an obligation not only to be the leader but to protect the homestead and its parameters .  That is why trouble finds me (and it always finds me). Somehow, somewhere along the twisted road of life, I seemed to have morphed in to Beau who, like the Irish, would never consider backing down from  a fight.

Let’s start with my sister Diva Calico Gen.  She is a piece of cake, so easy to get along with.  She grooms me painstakingly and with the conviction of a mother cat.  Yet, that devil that lurks inside of me sometimes surfaces and without thought of consequences, I decide to nip  or claw her.  It is only to get a chase going, but Gen is so sensitive and Momma buys into her plaintive meows, ‘Andy is bullying me.’  You know the bad press bullies get these days. If Momma is not fast enough, Senorita Jakita makes short work of me, jumping on my back, pinning me in place, till I beg for mercy.  Still there is no grudge held for past indiscretions. We have an understanding like the Three Musketeers – all for one and one for all.

Then, well, there is Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte (Charlie).  She may be a cousin, or we may even share the same mother  since we came from the same cat colony (Charlie was born the year previous to me).  All that being said, she is so different. Can cats have mental health issues?  Truly, Charlie seems to like the Two Footed much better than the Four Footed (except Jakita, who she depends on to defend her against me).  I mean, I do not get that cat.  I am walking down the hall, minding my own business.  Charlie will be hiding under the table.  All of a sudden she is hissing like a snake, scaring me in to a ‘fight or flight attack.’  And me, I always choose the fight.  Here we are, at six o’clock in the morning engaging in hand to hand combat, rolling around on our backs, growling, hissing, caterwauling, both hoping to land the knockout punch shot before Momma and Jakita come to straighten us out. And we never forget.  And there is no surrender.

Now Clem the Colony Cat  still hangs around a lot, but he is like me.  He is clever.  If we land at the front steps together, he lets me lead the way in to the house.  He waits patiently for Momma to feed me, Gen,  Charlie, then him.  Once I have left my feeding station (we all have our own), then Clem  will go to check out my left overs.

Problem is, I still have that need to confirm who is boss so sometimes I will try to provoke Clem in to a reaction.  He is younger and faster than me and can usually leave me in the dust but I got to show him, I am the Tom Cat Leader.  I have no intention to pass on my title yet.  So, just keep respecting me and you will  live to see another day. 

But don’t tell Momma I said that, okay? She doesn’t understand the testosterone blessing and / or curse that rules the male body, soul and mind that makes us do the things we do.  🙂