Okay, I hate to break it to you Momma…but we got us a Four Footed, long whiskered, pointed snout, longer than body-length scaly tailed Speedy Gonzales House Mouse living in our home…so now what?
Momma won’t put down poison because…well ….because her most beloved, yet pokey four-footed pets might ingest it…and forget traps…like tiny, unforgiving guillotines only the poor mites could pitch and shriek for days and Momma would not hear a whisper….although that might wake the cats out of their hibernation slumber. I mean, Wonder Boy, if and when he can catch Speedy and his relatives, doesn’t mind capturing them and putting them out to scamper in to the cold night…but Momma…no…not so much….
Now the other day, a Thursday (that is the day Momma scrubs the floors, every week, like clock work (God-Love-Those-Detail-Oriented-Schedule-Keeping Virgos) and lo and behold, and fuddle duddle, out streaks Speedy Gonzales, so fast, almost a blur, but I could see his fat little body, his little round ears and that long whip of a tail, disappearing in to the bathroom, under a bath mat all the while shrieking (I swear I heard): ‘Ándale, Ándale! Ariba! Ariba!’
As Momma squealed and did an Irish Jig, I went in to panic mode….was this a threat…is there Speedy Gonzales Terrorists hiding out in our home???? Mostly I am thinking (being Havanese and hailing from Cuba)…Holy frijoles! That thing runs faster than me!
Time to get a grip, hold the phones. It is an itty bitty field mouse who has invaded private property in the dead of an Arctic Vortex….Don’t we have cats in our midst whose main contribution to the family is supposed to be to hunting…like… mice? So I scan the horizon and what do I see? Well, Charlie is deep in contemplation….Should I stay or should I go…Forget Charlie anyway…she catches flies, the occasional moth that dares to invade her territory but mice…never saw her even show interest in even confronting a mouse. No, she is a tried and true crunchy Meow Mix Loyalist.
And, what can I say… Bad Boy Andy, a male cat…. There he is, flat on his back, paws in the air, deep in slumber … he has to feel extremely bored to be lured in to a cat and mouse game. The mouse would have to pull Andy’s whiskers to get any reaction out of him. Don’t tell anyone but Andy is a softie…he doesn’t like to pick on things smaller than him.
Then there is Diva Calico Gen…she is a true female feline mouser…but more to bat them around, leave them stunned, so that Wonder Boy can scoop them up and deliver them to their Natural Habitat. There she is, wound up like a ball of tri–coloured yarn, in never–never land, chasing pretty butterflies no doubt. Three for three, like Jesus’ disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane…all asleep.
So, as Speedy Gonzales makes his great escape, from one room to the next to the next to the next, he is chuckling as he goes… ‘They don’t make pussy cats like they used to….but then again…Us good guys always win….’
No worries, I am working on a plan…without the help of our pampered, soft and hard food, Temptation Treats fed, gorda kitties because as a Havanese (From Havana…ooh na-na (ay, ay), I speak Speedy’s native tongue…
Ándale, Ándale! Ariba! Ariba…you are so out of here Speedy Gonzales…Vamos! Vamos!