Like, I got some things to say. You know that I ♥♥♥ my Momma and she ♥’s ♥’s ♥’s me but I do not understand why she goes so postal, on occasion, like a few days back. I suspect it had something to do with the fact that I did not come when she called me in.
But, whatever (big yawn) I was outside, there was a full moon, with ***’s (or is it planets,) shining brightly in the dark, clear sky, just beckoning me to enjoy the moment. That it was a nice balmy zero degrees only encouraged me to plow through the snow with gusto. I was no longer a sable and white dog, I was completely white, with huge snow balls, like a tiny abominable snowman. At the same time I managed to attract monster thistles caught in the wiry fur on my legs, my beard, my long silky ears, my tail and ouch, my belly, from slinking under the dead bushes and left over foliage in the flower beds. I felt like a commando, disguised as a snow (wo)man, on a sssshhh, top classified secret mission.
Okay, I get it (a little) that the longer I stayed out, collecting snow balls and thistles, the bigger the job Momma had when I finally came in. Yet at some point, I always bark to say, ‘Hurry, I am cold, let me in, hurry, you’re not here yet, where are you? I am dying out here. HURRY, HURRY, HURRY!.’
Is it my fault Momma can not always see me because the snow is so high and she worries unnecessarily, may I add that:
- I may escape the back yard and will be like Sweet Sophie who has never been seen again (to our knowledge) or
- I may be doggy napped and not able to find my way home (did you not hear about Lassie, Momma?) or I
- I will become stuck in a snow drift and my life force will be sucked out of my body before she even finds me and how would she tell Wonder Boy. It is just to sad. See Momma wipe away a tear from her eye.
I tell you, Momma is just like her father before her, so I understand, worrying needlessly…. But not without cause. I heard Momma tell Wonder Boy, tears in her voice that a little boy, a few miles from here had been caught in a snow bank during the blizzard Wednesday and died before he could be rescued. That is why Momma clears the steps of snow, then shovels a pathway for me from the door to the very back of the yard, under the big old evergreen tree I love to hide under, surveying the world at large, while, as I said previously, the world can not survey me. Winter is so much fun. In my next life, I want to come back as one of those husky sled dogs, in the land of the midnight sun or maybe not…I enjoy being pampered too much and…oh, that’s right, I like people more than frothing, barking, whining dogs. I am not a team player.
This particular night Momma, finally had to put her boots on, and come outside to find me, then chase me in the back door. Apparently that is unacceptable behavior that falls short of previous training. Who Knew? She raised her voice so loudly, I thought I’d go deaf or my ear drums would pop. Usually, with Momma, it is over in a minute but not tonight. All the frustration she felt in past four years spilled and spewed, making a stew of words I could not understand or fathom. I was served a full plate of her complaints, in a loud, penetrating rant. I felt so ashamed for letting her down, I could not look her in the eye as she melted my snow balls, in warm water, towel dried me, then used her blow dryer on low heat to complete the drying process, brushing or cutting out the thistles I had managed to collect. It made me feel so warm and contented and guilty.
But there is more to tell and well, I like you to know that I realize my short comings. Even though Super Boy has great admiration for me, when he doggie-sat me, he soon realized I was powerful contrary, and dead set on doing what ever I want to do. I am trying….. but I am a work-in-process.
In the meantime, everyone agrees that I am uncommonly smart, (though not boastful) and mostly sensible so that I know to rein it in when I get out of line.
And if you see me behaving badly, please feel free to put me in my place. I need lots of structure.