We all know, much as we love her, Momma’s a Work in Progress…you can’t depend on her to pay ‘The Bad Cop’ ever….well, at least with the cats…with me, she seems to have no problem settling me down…if I need it…which hasn’t been for a long, long time because I wrote ‘The Policy and Procedures for All Creation’ so obviously, I have no excuse.  In order to be an Enforcer, you first must drink the Cool Aid…..no matter the color, no matter taste….

Let me give you an example about how Momma failed me…again.  The other day,I was sleeping in the living room, usual spot on couch, my head being pillowed by Pink Bunny and Pink Eared Sylvester. 

Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte (Charlie) claimed the spot beside me to sneak in a cat nap….and that is exactly what Charlie does…she cat naps…if Momma moves anywhere in the house, she sits up, a most worried look on her face…is she leaving…will she ever come back….Charlie suffers PTSD from being born in a bin at a noisy Tier One Automotive Plant, where clangy 1000 Ton Presses grind steel at impossible to register decibel,  into various and sundry car parts.

The Diva Calico Gen comes into the Living Room…Wouldn’t you just know it….seems Charlie has the spot on the couch she wants….so she stands on her hind legs and gives Charlie a sharp paw slap.  Faster than a speeding bullet, Charlie sits up and noisily thumps Gen, right jab, left jab, get out of here.

 

As the Leader of the Pack, I don’t like it one bit.  Momma, who somehow heard the thumping runs in to the room.  Gen, knowing she has been rightfully chastised, gets the heck out of Dodge….which means I am left to put Charlie in her place…so I give her my most severe long ‘Are you kidding me? Were you raised by the Forest Freaks?’ look….and Momma laughed…. Whether it was my expression, Charlie’s reaction…I couldn’t tell you…and I swear, just the way Charlie turned away, flicked her ears, she was flipping me the bird…..she was….

I am putting it out there….who else suffers such indignities…all in the line of duty…..tell me…who?????

I feel so helpless, what can I do….Remembering all the things we’d been through?  It seems they all stop and stare….I can’t hide my angst… but I don’t care…Never forget it, I’m yourLeader of the Pack….. Lookout,  Lookout…                                                                    (Paraphrase Jeff Barry / Ellie Greenwich / George Morton)