Our Days Are All Filled With Easy Country Charm

Our annual bonfire at the beach. From Morguefile.com IMG_3598ed.jpgBy Dzz
A firestorm.
From Morguefile.com
IMG_3598ed.jpgBy Dzz

Remember  Misfit Molly? She surely had no clue the firestorm she would ignite when she listed the Judge as a member in good standing in the Secret Society of Scryers

To be or not to be (as Shakespeare would say) a Judge in the country…. Let me tell you, may God have mercy on his (her) very Soul. You don’t only have all the criminal cases from the town where the courthouse resides, but all the villages that are in a hundred mile or so radius….so you don’t need to look for trouble…because, well, trouble finds you…. 

Now all of these towns jockey and compete for any industry or shopping center, the local high schools try to decimate each other on the basketball court, the football field, the hockey rink…all out war, all the time…but when it came to the Ivy League educated Judge, every member on the county were on the same side…any Judge that sent someone’s First Cousin Twice Remove to prison on a trumped-up charge was a dirty judge.

Our In-the-Family ADA and his BEST man, Jakita's Wonder Boy.
Our In-the-Family ADA (Left) and the BEST man, Jakita’s Wonder Boy (Right).

How did they know?   Well, if you had ears to hear and eyes to see knew it was the Mayor’s son that was guilty….but he had been accepted in to his own Ivy League College and it could ruin not only his future but his father’s chance of re-election. And the Judge and the Mayor were both in the Rotary Club, the Golf Club…the Brotherhood of I’ll Stick Up For Yours If You’ll Stick Up For Mine.

Those country folks may not have been booked learned but they knew a thing or two about a thing or two.  If the Judge had used the Secret Society of Scryers divinations to find a fall guy, then let him sit through an investigation and trial…put the shoe on the other foot, so to speak, Cinderella.

No one even remembered what the charge was…some said the offence was stealing the provincial flag from the local arena, replacing it with a Maple Leaf Forever.  Indictable Offense, for sure.

We're still standing Monuments.
We’re still standing Monuments.

Others said some gravestones of some executive’s family were knocked over …well, freaking tall and wide monuments, to be exact, erected so everyone could remember how important they were, how rich they were, in comparison to the rest of the have-nots.

It was not like the Judge had an easy time with the moonshine boys, the petty thievery, the almost assaults in the bar room brawls…if that wasn’t enough, there were some men who came to court, no charges against them and begged to be put in jail all winter so they could have three square meals and a roof over their head.  The snow really piled up in this county while Arctic Vortexes hovered…so a well thought out long-range plan was essential to exist.

Not that First Cousin Twice Removed would come to no harm in jail with this more toothless than tough crowd who wouldn’t even recognize a gang member if they met him in their soup.  Still, it was the  injustice of ‘lock him up’ (Right, Hillary?) while the Mayor’s son skated freely through life that just burned the country folk to the bone.

Indiana Justice...or not...
Indiana Justice…or not…

So it came to pass, the highest court in the province found a Lady Judge who was worthy of being harassed by a bevy of folks as vocal and mad as Banty  Hens and Coc-A-Doodle-Doo Roosters. 

Lord Have Mercy on Her Soul!

Stand in Line

No one is more fetching than me!
No one is more fetching than me!

Is it just me or does every kid think… ‘Momma always liked you best’…. with a tear in their eye and a catch in their voice… Sometimes I feel like that because I sit and I watch and no matter how much love I slavishly pour over Momma, there is always some mealy mouth Four Footed competition that I feel gets more attention than me, the Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte, Charlie.

 

 

It helps to be an extrovert like Bad Boy AndyYou want love, you take it, no matter how much it puts Diva Calico Gen out, as she sits at Momma’s side, paws tucked under, purring softly.  And there is the Ultimate Earth Dog Jakita wedged against Momm’s other side, head leaning on Momma’s bony knees.  You think that stops the Bad Boy Brainiac Andy….No, there is plenty of room on Momma’s lap, if you move your big, fluffy head Jakita and if the Diva will just slide back a bit…plenty of room for a long-legged, long-bodied bully cat in need of love.

Give the dog a bone...
Give the dog a bone…

Meanwhile, being introverted and wistful, I am hiding under the dining room, watching the love fest deteriorate rapidly as Gen stalks off in a huff while Jakita whines ‘it’s not fair…do something Momma.’  As the Bad Boy zestfully settles, Jakita gives in and gives up, splatting to the floor with a thud so everyone knows she is not pleased and there will be repercussions… so watch your back Andy.

 

Sweet Diva Calico Gen!
Sweet Diva Calico Gen!

But I know one sure thing…Momma and I have a special, irrevocable bond. Every day brings a night….and when the sun goes down and the moon comes up, it will be me with Momma, glued to her side all night, ready to lick and purr her awake each morning…so even if that little voice in my head that won’t shut up says I am unworthy and Momma always liked all of you best…still, we have the nights…when Diva Calico Gen and Senorita Jakita snuggle with Wonder Boy….

 

Do I look like a bully to you?
Do I look like a bully to you?

As for Bad Boy Andy…he’s a Tom Cat…he likes to prowl and howl at night…and he is not doing that in Momma’s bedroom.  No worries. If and when the Arctic Vortex sweep in or the skies open and pelt out rain, hail, sleet or snow, he finds a comfortable couch, rolls up in a ball and drifts off to Never Never Land where he is King of the Jungle and everyone bows to himbut, hey, I don’t care… because I got Momma…so it works for me!

Everything’s set, everything’s fine…You just got to stand in line…..
Oh everything’s set, everything’s fine…You just got to stand in line  (Midnight Oil)

 

Do You Want to Know A Secret?

Do you promise not to tell…Let me whisper in your ear… Momma is getting old (say it ain’t so)…or maybe just lazy (no, never that)…and even an Ultimate Earth Dog like me can not tell the difference….

Today's a fine day for a walk!
Today’s a fine day for a walk!

I remember, I rememberseems like only yesterday…Momma would be like the Postman…take me for a walk in the rain, snow, sleet, hail, sunshine, moonshine…now…not so much. Come 40 degrees below or above Centigrade, I would be walked (cajoled, forced or pulled along, sometimes, I admit). It seems to me and maybe I am a bit hyper sensitive on this subject, conditions now have to be perfect for the leash to come out.  What gives Momma, what gives?

Oh, I know I am judgemental and sanctimonious but I sit on top of the couch in the Sunroom and I know what is going on in our neighborhood…that Super Freak Dog, La Belle Dame with her Super Attentive Momma gets walked, like every day and maybe twice on Sundays.

So Pppllleeeaaassseee walk me, do!
So please…..walk me, do!

Momma told me that I have to understand that La Belle Dame is a big dog compared to me and an apartment dweller with no back yard to burn energy so she needs her regular jaunts through the neighborhood but I think…so… what?

It may sound paranoid but could it be possible La Belle Dame is prancing past my place every freaking day, just to annoy me…like nah, nah, nah nah nah?  I know her Super Attentive Momma just leashes her and then the Super Freak literally pulls her around, where ever she wants to go, making sudden, jerky stops, nearly upending her poor, kind-hearted-I-didn’t-see-it-coming Mistress. We are both seven years old now…

La Belle Dame Super Freak.
La Belle Dame Super Freak.

I have learned my manners…where are yours, La Belle Dame?

I know, I know what you say Momma…on muddy days, like today, when we have a twenty-minute walk, you then suffer through a thirty minute cleanup… soap up the belly, the paws, rinse, change muddy water, start all over, towel, then blow dryI can not help that you are a Virgo  and apparently you can’t either. And I refuse to be a namby-pamby boot wearing doggie.

Let’s get with the program, Momma.  The worst of the Arctic Vortex is behind us for this year, (fluffy paw toes crossed), the snowdrops are pushing through, the birds are gathering, the tree buds are formingwe don’t want to miss out on the miracle of rebirth in our midst.

I'll do anything to fiesta, even wear this itchy pink tutu that Momma and her guests thinks I look adorable in!
I am so ready, willing and able and cute!

Take me out for my walk…take me out to the crowd…put on my leash and my booties (okay, okay)…I don’t care if I never come back… cause it’s… one, two, three, it would seem only fair that  we’ll join you there …….    (Paraphrase Take Me Out to the Ball Game).

Help Me

Help me if you can I’m feeling down….And I sure appreciate you being round….I now my lake is somewhere on these grounds...won’t you PLEASE PLEASE…. Help meHelp me…Ooh (The Beatles)

The Duck Walk 1

Because….If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is... a duckwith a story, on its way, coming soon to a theater near you…..

Baptism By Fire

Momma has so many stories, some true, well, if not downright lies, at least fanciful. This one is rather humbling and sad, yet it is what you’d call life…the baptism by fire…so to speak.

He was a hometown War Hero…she was an unknown citified War Bride from over the Pond.  But loves conquers all…right?  But just between you and me, small town born and raised, to church three times each Sunday, doesn’t make for tolerance. 

Those were the days my friend....
Those were the days my friend….

After all, the War Hero had disrespected your sister, niece or cousin by bringing a stranger in the mix.  Anyone too big for their britches needed to learn the hard way that you didn’t up and do things without sanctions being imposed, cred being earned, if you wanted acceptance into this tight-knit bucolic community.

Well, a baby is always an ice breaker and so the young couple produced a handsome, talented son that seamlessly slid in to a hostile environment, invoking smiles and acceptance to such a degree some of the sting from the initial insults melted like snow on a spring day.

Emboldened by their success, the War Hero and his War Bride did what most folks did after the return from the Second World War.  They grew their family….but this time…they were blessed with twins, a little boy and girl, born prematurely,

Traditional baptismal font.
Traditional baptismal font.

kept alive only by the Grace of God and some said, the act of baptism. We called them Twin Boy Blue & Twin Girl Pink…but they were polar opposite of their cool Big Brother, another Hometown  Hero, the Class Clown, the all round Bon Vivant. The boy was Golden.  The twins, though, struggled in school to learn, to make friends to fit in….but they always had each other.

But everyone knows that the true heroes are recognized when tested, like iron in a fire.  And so it took a tragedy for us to see Twin Boy Blue’s strength and heroism.  It just so happened Twin Boy Blue, Twin Girl Pink and the Hometown Hero were at a nightclub that was torched by revenge seeking disgruntled customers who had been literally tossed down the stairs for bad behaviour by the Bouncer.  When the EXIT was blocked with flames, the club goers trampled each other to get to the windows and out to safety.  The Hometown Hero, being fast to react, was outside lickety-split-quick; yet burdened by the thought that Twin Boy Blue, and Twin Girl Pink were still in the towering inferno.

Meanwhile, Twin Boy Blue also had sized up the situation in a hurry.  He hustled his Twin Girl Pink out the window as she protested she would break her freaking neck if she jumped from a second storey. Along with the Bouncer, Twin Boy Blue helped the panicked club goers out the window, only leaving his post when the place was cleared of living clientele.

Believe!
Believe!

Way too many young souls winged their way to heaven that night. It was touch and go for Twin Boy Blue whose lungs had been infiltrated by the flames as well as suffering various burns to his face and hands.  Luckily, Twin Girl Pink had little damage beyond cuts and bruises so was ready to be released from the hospital. The discharge papers were signed.  Hobbling over to Twin Boy Blue’s bed, she saw her brother swathed in bandages, so still, so many tubes coming and going that she collapsed and died beside him, unable to face the possibility of a life without him. T.R.U.E.  S.T.O.R.Y.

He ain't heavy...he's my brother.
He ain’t heavy…he’s my brother.

But God is full of surprises and our new Hometown Hero, Twin Boy Blue lived to see another day.  Seems sometimes we are too blind to see just a little polishing can make the gold burnish brightlyso bright you can see what we had missed all along.

Now our Hometown Hero Twin Boy Blue is welcome at the Cool Kids tablebecause if he doesn’t belong there by now…well, who does?