Don’t you go dying in the Winter…We have commitments you see…My child is winning Gold Medals...And just can’t do it without me…No hockey brawls for us…Figureskatingfull-time.
Water wings baby.
Now don’t you go dying in the Spring time…. That’s when the glamour shows hit the ice…I expect my kid to be the show stopper…To miss it would not be right….No swimming team for us….Figureskatingfull-time.
Okay, Blue Jays…Let’s Play Ball!
And you can’t be dying in the summer …We’d be frantic fitting you in…Summer skating pays the coach wages….We’ll be there, it’s a sure thing…No baseball bats for us…Figureskatingfull-time.
Perfect…if your eyes were open…
We can’t have you dying in the autumn…The judges are depending on you...We pay them even if we skip it…So what do you think we should do??? No tossing around footballs...Figureskatingfull-time.
The Fonz pose!
So don’t go dying on us anytime…We’ve got a busy schedule to keep…In an arena, freezing our unmentionables….With time off if the Coach says we can sleep...No family life for us…Figureskatingfull-time.
Baby Mickey Squirrel in Daddy’s hand. Fr: Morguefile By: Marykbaird
In the continuing Saga of Nature against Baby Squirrels, and how the story ended, as is to be expected, when you needed them the most, Momma and Daddy were late.
Daddy arrived home first … with no thought of a coup d’état underway. He just about made it to the front door when Mickeyand Minnie Squirrel appeared, chirping very excitedly. Mickey managed to take a run for it and engage his claws in Daddy’s denim jeans, sprinting up his pant legs.Minnie, not to be out done by her brother took a flying leap, claws out to latch onthe denim as easily as if it were bark on a tree.
Beau Beau & Diva GenBad Boy Andy
The cats turned their heads in sync, smiling benevolently, even if alarms were sounding. Surely no… Okay, dogs in the house, cats in the house…. but read my lips. No Squirrels, even BabyMickey and Minnie Squirrel, as desperate as they were, as cute as they were,…NIMH (Not In My Home).
Finally, along came Momma from work, burnt out from sitting in the traffic, longing to get out of her Dress Up Clothes. Daddy was sitting on the top step, in a dilemma. The life of an abandoned baby squirrel was precarious… but any problem must have a solution, right. Let’s ask Momma… She has her finger on the pulse,rescuing birds that fell from trees, raccoons out of scrap bins or orphaned kitties at the Tier One Automotive Stamping Plants.
Call the Wild Life Federation and ask them for advice, says Momma, sage of the ages. 1st choice, take them directly to the Conservation Centre…Until then…Keep them safe from predators, preferably in a cage.. Keep them warm. Hydrate and Feed by dropper… Time is of the essence for a positive outcome.
Phew, thought Boy Andy, Handsome Beau Beau and Diva Calico Gen. We’ll keep them safe…but not keep them…as selfish as that sounds… well, we believe in the Do No Harm to Babies but still Squirrels belong in trees, outdoors… not indoors, shrieking and causing chaos.
Wolves @ habitat. From Morguefile.com 111751225913.jpg By dyetRaccoon http://www.morguefile.com/ JPG By Seemann
Next day, Daddy loaded up the little cage and drove off to the Wild Life Conservation Area where rehabilitated birds, raccoons, squirrels and even some ornery cats and wild wolves lived in peace, so the story goes. Momma was a little sad to say Good Bye, Fare Thee Well but we (Bad Boy Andy, Handsome Beau Beau and Diva Calico Gen) just rolled our eyes.Good riddance. Over and Out….
Now we suppose Mickey and Minnie Squirrel regale the wildlife with tales of where they came from and how they were rescued after their mother went AWOL…but the truth is Mama Squirrel (you know, the cat, came back, like she’d never been away) showed up, the day after they left.
Mama Squirrel, under the cherry tree, in the Rock Garden, looking for her babies.
Maybe Mama Squirrel had been at an all week Squirrel Rave….maybe she was at a Squirrel Convention, maybe she forgot the time…but she did come back…and we all had to listen to her keen and wail, calling out for BabyMickey and Minnie Squirrel… if only she had come back sooner….if only…
No worries, Mama Squirrel…we grew up without our Baby Mama and just look how well we all turned out.. well…sort of, depending on your threshold of acceptance…. :-D….
The truth…the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
So…. It is like this. Never trust a Momma who falls in ♥ too easily…She may break your spirit, your heart and your patience. Now, usually Momma is a cool as a cucumber customer. She will tell other neurotic pet owners that their dogs are gorgeous…but I know it is just Momma being nice because then she bends down, kisses the top of my head, then whispers NOTin my ear, and we are off, leaving the other owner and dog, in the proverbial dust. Amen. So be it.
Then there is La Belle Dame, the Cream, Silver,brindle husky. There is something off about that dog. I can feel it. I mean like everyday she will plunk herself down on the sidewalk, in front of our house and stare unabashedly at our Indoor Outdoor Cats. Momma, who feels the same as me, that there is something she can not quite put her finger on wrong with both the dog and his sweet, shy owner, will try to put them at ease.
La Belle Dame with the freaky BLUE Eyes!
She will say, ‘What a beautiful dog you are, La Belle Dame.’ And being me, I smirk sanctimoniously and think, well if you like that blue-eyed canine look… personally… looksfreakyto me. Dogs should have brown eyes, like I do. To me she is just La Belle Damewho needs to go back to the factory for some fine tuning.Okay, okay, she is somewhat stunning…I am not a jealous type but I can’t see what Momma sees in her.
Please don’t get me wrong. There is not one mean bone La Belle Dame’s body. Although three times my size, she does not growl, snap or lunge at me…but she always wants to play. We are both six years old now …way past that chase, and catch game that even I thought was so delightful when I was a puppy. Still she is A-Babe-In-The-Woods about Cats.
Bad Boy Andy would not let her with a five hundred foot radius unless he initiated the attack…then bold as brass,he would take that well-developed right paw and whackpoor La Belle Dame across her smiling benignly refined snout before she saw what was coming. Been there…done that...until I earned my street cred…now, like the cheese, I am left alone.
Diva Calico Genin camouflage.
Wiley Diva Calico Gen would hide behind the bushes, drawing La Belle Damecloser and closer, then, fast as a whip, climb the closest tree and smirk down at her.
Truly, I ♥ my cats but I learned to realize, you can’t best a cat,especially a street smart feral.
Bad Boy Andy grooms 1) himself, 2) Jakita.
My advice to you La Belle Dame, stay away… Convince your Momma to bring home your own kitty to be yourBestFriendForever… Maybe two cats because you are a lot bigger than me and I have discovered a cat’s job (after hunting, playing, snoozing) is to groom themselves, then others, in no particular order … you just have to deal with it…
♥ thy neighbour, as thyself…especially if you are an 80 pound weakling…like Momma.
It was a crazy month, December…it snowed, then it snowed some more, then just when you thought we had enough, well, it snowed again…Kept Momma hopping, even with a contractor that cleans out the driveway and shovels the walkways…
Brick barrier at bottom of summer garden that the plow chews and spews.
But then there are those noisy-good-for-nothing sidewalk plows, driven by the city clowns (so says Momma) whose one passion in life (it seems) is to cut up your front gardens, chewing and spewing bits of our brick hedges like a Pac-Man on speed…and if that is not enough , after your gateway has been ploughed….they are back…(like a poltergeist) heaving heavy slabs of ice in absolute mountains, blocking any chance of exiting with a car…until spring comesor Momma gets out her shovel.
One day, like a cowboy, Momma decided to take a chance, ride the wave, scale the mountain. It did not turn out well….because, how do I put this delicately…Momma is a woman driver. I mean, I, the Ultimate Earth Dogcould probably have done it…but Momma…not so much…even with a fairly new car (well 2 years old but hardly driven) and top of the line winter snow tires. Momma got stuck…she could not go ahead, she could not go back, her goose was cooked and it was not even Christmas Day…and 7:00am…like who in their right mind is out and about at that ungodly time of day to help her?
Oh, but God is Good and Momma has no shame.
Sweet Baby Jesus
She’ll pray to the Virgin Mary and Sweet Baby Jesus, and if that doesn’t work, she’ll beg for help…that is the positive thing about being a female…we can suck it up, shake it off and never feel any the worse for it.
And so Momma went to our neighbour next door. He is a sweetheart says Momma…but alas a sleeping sweetheart…he either didn’t hear or didn’t answer because he did not feel like pushing another car this blankity-blank month.
Just then, across the street, in that house where we are not really sure what goes on (Momma sees everything)…We just know important looking men usher all manner of folks in to sign on the dotted line for high interest loans that banks refuse to give them because they are new to the country or single parents or high credit risks. Also ensconced in what is listed as a residential home so their taxes stay low, (hey, the city was told but they would rather fight with the residents than turn away any business, legit or fishy), is an apartment where a very young, beautiful couple live. The Little Lady, who has the beauty of an Angel, leaves the house at 7:00am everyday, hiho, hiho…it’s off to work she goes…she is as regimented as Momma, it seems. But Momma has talked to the Young Gent, who is what every Mother dreams her son will be…polite, friendly, helpful…the list goes on and on and on….so cool with all those tats and shiny earrings.
Like quick silver, Momma rushed over, explained her predicament and the Little Lady was very understanding (considering the number of times she had talked to Momma – Zero…but they had waved at each other, friendly like). In no time, the Young Gent was out and being a construction worker, cautioned Momma after surveying the situation, it would take some revving. Like, no worries, having grown up around 1st Cousin Buddy, Momma understood heavy-duty revving…Cousin Buddy revved motorcycles, snowmobiles, cars or anything with an engine, till it saw it his way and cooperated.
Momma waves Bye Bye to neighbour.
In no time the Young Gent had the car unstuck, told Momma, anytime…and was off…We are hoping that Momma learned her lesson but being a cousin to Buddy, we make no promises.
So…. Best Practise: ♥ thy neighbour, as thyself…because you never know when you might need them.
